Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
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Top comments
noobsatin 19
maybe he was just sharing. drunk people do that. a lot.
daisylokes 16
awww don't feel bad, :( he sounds creepy anyway, dont let anybody make you feel bad, I had a baby 9 months ago and still get asked how many months I am, lol
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Comments (56)
noobsatin 19
maybe he was just sharing. drunk people do that. a lot.
joseph19921992 10
Have you ever thought of the possibility that this man has a sixth sense, and he believes you're pregnant. God knows
joseph19921992 10
Don't u dare question Jesus
nyctophobia 5
I doubt it.
daisylokes 16
awww don't feel bad, :( he sounds creepy anyway, dont let anybody make you feel bad, I had a baby 9 months ago and still get asked how many months I am, lol
LunaaBluee 27
If he's buying her drinks I say just go with it.
kevinu125 7
He was probably just drunk don't feel bad :)
Kamon97 23
Maybe he was just drunk and blurted it out he probably didn't think you're pregnant at all!
foxwasalamb 24
play a joke on him, have fun with it, but dont take it too harshly. its not like you have to ever see him again
andiesaur 18
At least he got the "woman" thing right.
paigexox0 37
Oh man...NEVER guess or assume a woman is pregnant unless you physically see her in labour lol.
foxwasalamb 24
not even if shes very obviously visibly showing? the only way i can see that backfiring is if she obese, then it can sometimes be hard to tell. but if shes a healthy weight...
Voij 16
Eating pickles with ice cream and mayo: Well, maybe she's just hungry for some strange stuff? Wouldn't wanna judge her eating habits. Morning sickness: Shouldn't have eaten pickles with ice cream. Swollen breasts: What? I... i haven't even... what? Did anything... haven't noticed. Clearly pregnant belly: Well, dunno, could be carrying a watermelon below her shirt... or maybe she just drank a lot of water. Water broke: See, she did drink a lot of water. Told you so. Now she just didn't manage to get on the toilet in time. Contractions: Yeah, no, I'm still gonna say it's the pickles with ice cream. Baby is born: Oh, so you were pregnant. Mazel tov!
cakefete2 31
This is wisdom, well done my friend.I'd go a step further. Even after the baby is born best response is, "what that's your baby?! But you weren't even pregnant."
corpsebrunette 8
nooo you just don't do it!! If she brings it up that's one thing, but just don't!!
Earths_Venus 25
Seems you soon will be!
PewDiePie_Lover 14
no. just no.
kylieh72 25
Well at least his intension was to compliment your sexual appeal, his execution was just a little off! I'm sure you're very beautiful, OP.
TheRoyalBattler 5
That must have been a turn off!