Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Will you…
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Adding insult to injury
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
karleigh 0
Omg, is she okay?
chaos753159 4
yeah shes okay except for the fact that she is now dead
dakotalesmercy 6
:'( You should have looked under the table first.
RileyFerrari 0
YDI for being afraid of dogs more than 5-year-old girls. Those things are vicious!
Selsa_Squirrel 0
Like she's going to check under the table before she reacts on instinct. If you're terrified of something, you'll react. The parents should have been watching their kid, especially in a nice place. Crawling under the tables in a common, but rube, child activity and chances are she not only crawled under there, but BIT the girl on the leg. Kid's own damn fault.
dirtbiker3325_fml 0
The little one is probably ok. I just wonder about op, 5 year olds can be vicious
pandachic27 9
I bet she's not so adorable anymore
SailorSolaris 43
217, I'm sure it was a knee-jerk reaction. You know, one you can't control? I feel bad for OP, and I would have reacted the same if something bit my leg.
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
111615 0
kinda not really your fault if the kid was playing under the table... unfortunate though:/
isallwaysme 27
the only way i can think of is either someone is blind, or they have a mental disability. my girlfriends little sister has autism and is allowed to bring the dog anywhere except where they make food in restaurants.
Miru_fml 0
Why would there be a dog in a restaurant? And what did his sister do that resembled a BITE? Anyway, yeah, that's pretty unfortunate :( I hope she's okay.
thenumberblue 0
he thought there was a dog in there because he's retarded.
qwerty8788 4
she probably bit her. that's what resembled a bite retard.
TheLefty 1
He? It's a female dumbass. Good try though.
shamniz 0
Just hope for she is okie.. :p you are pretty lucky u knw that :)
pandora_spocks 0
why would you kick a dog as hard as you could? asshat.
Selsa_Squirrel 0
Because it (or really the girl) BIT her, and she's terrified?
nbe_fml 0
Ehh she deserved it, plus it's a good life lesson
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
RyeBreadBoy 0
Your fault. Honestly, a dog at a high-end restaurant?
SailorSolaris 43
If something bit your leg, you'd assume it was a dog most likely, right? Especially if you can't see what it is.
phantasm 0
agree with #6
polishswede 0
why the hell would a dog be in a restaurant?
emilee0987 0
seriously!!! and how in the hell r u afraid of dogs? grow up!
BagelPower 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Emile- I am afraid of big dogs aswell. Dogs can tramatize (sp?) people deeply. Depending on the situation people sometimes die from them. When I was 5, I got 3 broken fingers and a broken leg from a dog. It attacked me when I ran after my own dog at the dog park. some dogs can and will do a lot of damage to people... just look at the pitbull.
princesskitten 0
#215: What an ignorant statement. Not all pitbulls are vicious. I've known several that were very sweet dogs. Any kind of dog can be mean or gentle depending on its training and environment. I understand you have a phobia, but common sense should tell you that it's irrational to assume all dogs are as vicious as the one that bit you, despite what you feel.
DoorMatCat 3
wow don't say something that ignorant, #215. not all pitbulls are vicious dogs. more people are bitten by German shepherds (police dogs) followed by rotweilers every year. your experience may have been traumatizing, but you were little. don't be so quick to assume dogs are evil. they don't hurt people just for the sake of hurting people, they don't hold grudges, and the only reason they'd be aggressive towards humans is because of how their owners treated and raised them.
LiznessMonster 9
But you guys....it's an irrational fear, meaning that it's next to impossible to "simply apply logic and get over it" For example, I'm not afraid of dogs, but I have extreme noctiphobia, because my mom had died suddenly in the night when I was 13. I've tried, but I can't just be like "Oh, this is stupid to be afraid of the night, I'm just not going to be scared anymore!" It just doesn't happen that way.
Marley_000 14
#215 I agreed with you somewhat until the last. Then you just sounded like an asshole. My brother has a 120 pound male, unaltered blue nose pit bull. His best friend is a cat. And he try's to be a lap dog whenever possible. He also slobbers on and licks new people he meets. Point is, a small number of pitbulls are aggressive since they were actually bred to be docile "nanny" dogs. It is hard to make them anything but gentle, and those that are, are only that way because of conditioned abuse. #235 I read somewhere that it's estimated small breeds like chihuahuas and shit zhus are responsible for the most dog bites/ attacks but they are the least reported. Either way, a fear of dogs can be rational and understandable. But not if you're going to be a dick about it and refuse to educate yourself.
Anony_fml 0
Did she bite your leg? If so, YLIF. If she just touched/brushed by your leg, then YDI.