Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
obscureabyss867 0
I agree w/ # 20. It's not like the OP wanted to hurt the dog/kid/whatever was biting her, it was probably more of an instant reflex to get whatever was biting her away. Besides the kid deserved it.
AntiChrist7 0
little children are a pest
nebjamin69 0
If she's "terrified" than it's a phobia, or close enough to it phobias are just *irrational* fears...means we act irrationally...and that might include reflexs ...like kicking the dumbass kid under a table gnawing on peoples legs
annacs 0
yeah it might be a reflex but still...you are a dumbass for thinking a dog was in a restaurant.
xqme 0
why would there be dogs in a "high end restaurant"? hope the 5 year old's okay..
Jimboom 12
Ha ha! Kid deserved it.. Though you should have noticed a kid under your table.
bretagneluv 0
Dump your boyfriend. He was raised by idiot parents who cant keep their kid out from under the table in a nice restaurant, much less keep their kid from biting you.
ilikepie789 0
calm down its not the boyfriends fault retard
EmilyMarie 0
Who takes a five year old to a high end restaurant anyway? Maybe if they're well-behaved but if they're going around biting people's legs... ack.
dave2001soa 0
#16, it's not her kid, the parents (and brother) of the kid were right there at the table, it's not her responsibility to keep track of the kid. Why would a dog be under the table at a high-end restaurant? I don't know, why would somebody suddenly get their leg bitten while sitting at a high-end restaurant. Come on people, think before you make comments.
dickinabox 0
...Why would a dog be at a fancy restaurant? I understand how you would instinctively think that though. Best regards, S