Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Lesson #1: dogs have a great sense of smell. If you have it, they will find it. Don't hide it on you.
vikingchick 22
Wow not many positive rated comments here. I'm sorry to hear that a dog ripped through your clothes. I hope you're doing alright. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
brunettesara5722 17
Aww next time throw it & run if you have time
150493x 29
I doubt for OP that there will be a next time
aidanrulz11 10
Poor you
SS99_fml 20
Is that what they're callin it these days?
sureshadow 23
I thought this was funny
Sneado 20
We win some, we lose some.
thecalvin123 21
What exactly did OP win?
kinky44 28
Must have been a Scooby snack, dogs will do some CRAZY stuff for those.
Daevas 18
Like speak!
apineapple 40
Every dog has its day.
iTzSelverZz 14
Well, you cant hide any treats from that dog apparently.
DarkPandaXD 15
I'm pretty sure you can't hide treats from ANY dog seeing as they have a great sense of smell.
Stormcloak 20
My dog can't find treats we lay out in front of her.
cutycat136 28
Lesson #1: dogs have a great sense of smell. If you have it, they will find it. Don't hide it on you.
Noelletakumi 36
Reminds me of Gary and the cookie in Patrick's pants.
mischiefkel 17
Reminds me of American dad, when Barry sniffs out the ham in Steve's pants
WitEluded 13
At least it only tore holes through your clothing...
WitEluded 13
I guess the injuries were implied here... Oh well, can't win 'em all.
jamesderp 15
Ruff day, eh?