Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
thestrangecaseof 0
What kind of parents bring their kids to high-end restaurants when they're poorly behaved enough to crawl under the table and bite someone? Just being bitten under the table by a person should be rare enough that thinking about it shouldn't bring her to the conclusion that it was a 5 year old. It should be more likely that an animal got into the restaurant.
ohdearestme 0
#48 maybe she was MAULED by a dog when she was younger or had some other terrible experience with dogs. Just because someone has a phobia doesn't necessarily mean it came out of no where...
ell3x0 0
that wasnt ur fault. if something randomly bit ME under a table i would react on instinct like u did, and so would anyone else. its his dumbass parents fault for not having her in a booster seat at a highend restraunt
JuJuBeeSunshine 0
That little brat deserved what she got, although I don't know why you would think it was a dog biting you. This will teach her how to behave in public and act like she has some sense.
kel_riv 0
people who think she's an idiot because there wouldn't be a dog in a high end restaurent are just LOOKING for something to critique here. honestly, in a split second reaction, people will react defensively no matter what. especially a person who's terrified of dogs; her first thought when something unexpected touches her (let alone bites her) under the table, will always be "omg get this dog away from me NOW" personally, even if I KNEW there was a kid under the table, if it bit me I would still kick it.
effit 0
Why the hell did she bite you? She deserved a good kick then.
i_am_not_me 0
There's things called health codes. A dog couldn't have been in there, and if one were the place could've been shut down.
mercedeslove 0
Hope she got hurt. Maybe the brat will learn not to be under tables. Children should be shot for stuff like that. She deserved that 100%
Hullaballoo 0
Kids shouldn't be under tables biting people. However, you're stupid for thinking a dog would be in a restaurant. Kid deserved it though.
JS2_fml 0
Wow, Irrational.