Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
calikola 0
Don't hate on this person. If I felt someone bite my leg, my first reaction wouldn't have been entirely rational. I would have just kicked it away.
cj_gurl 0
I know this sounds harsh, but five-year-olds can be pretty mean. They will take a person's fear (if they know it) and use it against them. If that little girl deliberately bit you, then she was playing into your fear and using it against you, and for that, she deserved the response you gave. Everyone else is calling you stupid for thinking a dog would be in a restaurant. Those people do not understand having a phobia. Reason deserts you; logic is gone. All you know is what you feel and your fear supplies the rest. It isn't ratonal and that's all there is to it. It sounds like that little girl MIGHT learn something about not deliberately frightening people, provided she isn't unnecessarily coddled and told that she had every right to do that.
orangetree 0
omg poor girl!!! is he still your boyfriend?? lol i hope shes okay and why would you think there would be a dog in a restaurant? I do understand you have a phobia but still.
Chibi_fml 9
Sites like this bring the stupidity of humans to new levels, and it never ceases to amaze me. I don't think the OP deserved it one bit. Phobias are not logical. When you're having a reaction to something that you're phobic of, you don't stop to think rationally. She wouldn't be going, "Now, something just bit me, what is the most likely thing that it would be?" Your body goes into an instinctive fight or flight response. Something bit (or scratched/brushed/whatever) her and she reacted. I can totally understand because I'm the same way around bees. It sucks that it ended up being a small child, but it's not like she did it on purpose. Saying "I understand you have a phobia but still" means you do not understand at all. When you are around/believe you may be around something you are phobic of, rational thinking is not part of your instinctual decision on what to do next! Furthermore, the parents of her boyfriend should have been watching their daughter. The floors of restaurants are usually dirty, and it's not where you want a little kid to be. If the kid's parents had been doing their job and watching her (as in, making sure she stayed in her chair and behaved), then this wouldn't have happened. It's not the OP's responsibility to keep watch over her boyfriend's little sister, and notice when the kid happens to slip under the table.
blazerbum 0
If I bite somebody, I would hope they kick me. You bite, you get kicked, you learn.
Mydixienormous 0
Lol.. Quite a few of these comments are people getting mad at, "You'd kick a dog!?" So the moral of this story is the next time something like this happens, just say you felt like smashing a toddler in the face.
loopy_fml 0
Outback is not high end.
audiogasmic 0
#66 FTW. it's easy to sit here, read what happened, and say "HOW THE **** DID YOU NOT THINK YOU WERE IN A HIGH END RESTAURANT WHY WOULD THERE BE A DOG OMG YOU'RE SO STUPID" But umm..honestly, think about something you're scared of. In her case, dogs. Okay. So you feel something bite you. Dogs bite. You can't help the reaction you have because in your mind you'd go "bite=dog=OMGWTF?!!?!?!?!?!!?" As #66 said, phobias aren't LOGICAL. If your brain senses anything that could be connected with your phobia, you're going to spazz out. I don't think the OP deserved this one bit, and I hope the kid's okay and the family understood.
kayronjm 0
LOL.
latuka 0
I agree with 49 in saying that id rather kick a kid than a dog I personally love dogs, but I know plenty of people who are scared of them, and most for good reason. 49 you don't know if the OPs ever had any bad experiences with them.. and if she has, that gives her more reason to dislike them. and most people who are scared of dogs, well the dog senses that, and will act in a more scary way. its a bit like a viscous circle...