Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
rawblerawble 0
people who is mocking her about 'why would there be a dog in the restaurant', you don't make a very rational thinking when you get bitten on your leg suddenly. also what if she was already had something like that before except she was actually bitten? stop making so much judgement based on a sentence.
falloutgirl_fml 3
hahaha. wow. even though you probably feel bad, the kid deserved it. i hope the parents did something to keep the kid from biting again... but don't feel bad. seriously. the kid is old enough to know not to bite people under the table. usually children stop biting at about 3 years of age. sounds like this one has some problems expressing her feelings.
lulzy 0
if something bites my foot I would immediately assume its a dog. dumb kid deserves it.
YouRF____d 0
Are you Mexican? it seems like every gardener i have ever had has been terrified of dogs. Maybe its because in the homeland they eat 'em and they think the dogs are coming back for revenge. IDK but the kid deserved it btw.
shehzeenahmed 0
if the girl was disobedient enough to crawl under a table and bite someone at a restaurant like that, she deserves it. her parents should know better than to let her do that. i hope she's okay, and if she is, this will just be a funny story to look back on.
evilnixon 0
To all the users asking why there would be a dog under the table at a high end restaurant, to me, it really seems more likely that you're going to have a dog under there than a five year old little girl. How many little kids do you see in high end restaurants? Ok, now how many Paris Hilton types do you see who bring their dogs everywhere? That and I agree with the user who brought up that she has a phobia and it was probably instinct to kick. I'm terrified of snakes and if I even THOUGHT one was near me I would freak out too.
drpepper000 0
@46: "How many little kids do you see in high end restaurants?" seeing as she was with her boyfriend AND HIS FAMILY, which included the little sister, she knew there was at least one.
turtlebots 0
I'd rather kick a kid than a dog, personally. How can you not like dogs :(
blackdogassault 0
Agreed with 49, but... How the hell did she think it was a dog on a place animals are obviously not allowed?
majellah 0
If you're at a nice restaurant that kid shouldn't be on the floor or under the table in the first place. Kicking the poor girl was a little...harsh. But the kid shouldn't have been on the damn floor.