Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog came to visit and I tried to bring him back home like I usually do. Only this time, when I grabbed the dog's collar, they zapped him! And it zapped me! My teeth still hurt! FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
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Top comments
ynnhoj 2
good thing it wasnt a dollar size chunk.....and tell your bro to choke on dick and suck balls
dabluedude101 0
today my niece got bitten by my dog because she was messing with him. they are having my dog put down. real fml.
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Comments (121)
bro224 0
shot!
bro224 0
wow. i got first comment :P
abbi96x 0
ouch...!
andruha1123 5
kill the dog fafpfafpfafpfafpfafp fafpfafpfafpfafpfafp fafpfafpfafpfafpfafp fafpfafpfafpfafpfafp
SarinaBoBina 0
ewww chunks
darckirra 0
Happened to me before. Grab it on the back of the neck and pinch. Do it right and it will release.
potatostash 0
ew oh well time to put the dog to sleep
potatostash 0
ew oh well time to put the dog to sleep
mymojo_fml 0
ure brothers a douche
mymojo_fml 0
in soviet Russia chunks bite dogs
GinandJenkem 0
Put the dog to sleep.
Xanax_Pazzo 0
wowww. I woulda slapped him after
troubleinharlem 0
I lol'd.
blindyblonde13 0
@31- hell no!!! dont put it to sleep!!
Massdebater 1
people!! I hve an urgent announcement. I am currently naked in my bathroom with nair hair removal cream all over my balls. that is all.
marinus_fml 20
nice work 48!
Averizzle 0
There's cream to remove hair? Pubic hairs say goodbye! Woot
marinus_fml 20
best dogs in the world are boerboels. google them!!
klsyy 0
unless he bit reallyyhard, he wouldnt rip out skin, but if he did, it would be a bigger amount than a penny. Your uncle is a dumbshit and the credibility of this FML is very doubtful.
madie_hearts09 0
what does OP mean??????
MasterX_fml 0
It was her aunt...
Maxyyy 3
first comment ever wooooooooo
klsyy 0
66- origami penis
Massdebater 1
were you unaware of the wonder of nair?! it's the best for removing hair!! give it a go, that's a dare!!
guitarchick7591 2
Ouch.
korn247 5
your brothers retarded
jal10a 1
65-first of all it could be a penny sized chunk if it was a smaller dog like a puppy and by the way it says his brother not his uncle was holdin the leash
PaintTheStars 2
#65 it could be a small dog like a terrier
skatingalyy 0
lmao 70 rhyming ftw:)
dramaababyy 0
26. really enough with the soviet Russia jokes. they stopped being funny a lonnngggg time agoo.
megiscool123 0
what about your birthday suit tho???
adriana012 0
LOL 48... Too much information.
sxyntx 0
that shit sucks!
imaginaryvoice 18
Your balls are going to start burning in about 30 seconds. Just forewarning you
skittle68 0
actually you're lucky he didn't pull the dog off. then it would have just ripped your skin away. you're supposed to try to distract the dog and get him to release. but fyl for getting bitten by a dog :(
blushingred 0
LOL
blushingred 0
yeah, it says unless it's special... do no tout anywhere near down there areas, nipples or face :/
RedPillSucks 33
ImaginaryVoice, Ya gotta rhyme it, like Massdebator did. Folks were screamin' - out of control It was so entertainin' - when your balls started to explode I heard somebody say Burn baby burn! - balls inferno! Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
aw your brother is so thoughtful. you will heal, sadly the shirt wouldn't.
wishard33 0
same thing happens to me! except mine was on the leg
HRodz23 0
nice pic
gina1231 0
can you say lawsuit?
tweetbaby14 18
boo hoo a penny I've had bigger chunks taken out of my forehead, arm, and butt you have no room to whine.
lemonlife 0
your a dick
isaiaha11 2
take the dog and make it bite a chunk out of his hip
pertained 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's why I hate dogs.
brandonsdick 0
you dog hating bastard.. who doesn't love puppies
Tikwichka 5
Hate is such a strong word..
pertained 12
more of a cat person. Don't mind puppies terribly, but yeah, i like cats better.
garuru 4
ya i like pussy.. so suck it
ScooterScott 0
Ah, 37. The love of what you can't get.
onyx735 0
BURNN!!!
brandonsdick 0
hahaha I second that burn BURRRNN second degree..
piinkbunnii 1
Ooohhhhh third degree burn!!!! BUUURRNNN!!!!
PaintTheStars 2
pertained 12
who're you trying to burn? the dog, right?
pertained 12
dog people, seriously.
CrypticHatchet 0
I like dogs more but when you think about it, people here are arguing whether they like ******* or bitches better.... give that a thought
brandonsdick 0
lol at 78, he's soo toasted by now
pertained 12
be gone, dog peoples. I am fireman Sam.
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
33 cats produce a hormone that will make you crazy. so you will end up the crazy cat lady/man. puppies produce a hormone that makes you love them. and I ain't making that shit up it was on animal planet.
pertained 12
having a kitten isn't going to turn you into a crazy cat man/lady. Seriously, that's if you have no friends in life and your family has ditched you.
garuru 4
hey 59 i can get get pussy like ur moms so go **** ur girlfriends blue waffle. how was that burn bitch! ha
xbooyahx 0
I would have broke it's neck
bodoquito89 0
your brother is a retard
ynnhoj 2
good thing it wasnt a dollar size chunk.....and tell your bro to choke on dick and suck balls
mmmfunyons 0
haa fyck the dog
pandamaddox 0
NOM NOM NOM NOM!
MasterX_fml 0
Love those **** =)
CrypticHatchet 0
I agree with 72
RadAtThis01 0
27 you look good
ttyler333 7
she looks yummy :P. like a cupcake. mmm
AlterEggo 0
OP fails because it is easy to make a dog latched to a person get off. If you let panic take control, you only have your own failures to blame. YDI OP.
cc1992 11
Damn, that sounds painful OP! I'm very much a dog person, but some dogs are vicious little mongrels!
kaymo2 21
Only if not trained properly