Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
Caustic 0
You would kick a dog? Get out.
johnnythreetears 2
PETA freak, go hug a tree or something, I would kick a dog if it bit me! SELF DEFENSE. so do you believe you can defend yourself in a human attack but not a dog attack?
xDex_ 3
because shes scared of dogs...
xDex_ 3
because shes scared of dogs...
qazwsxedc 0
i agree with comments 1-11 you fail
JayDubbs 0
#11, if a dog attacked you, would you just let it keep on attacking?
dessyrae 0
Exactly
nbe_fml 0
Umm if it bit me yeah
Chasted 0
I don't know about you guys but if anyone bit me without my consent I would be pissed off, no matter who or what it is... Kids fault for biting her, not the woman's (Or the parents fault for not enforcing the fact that "Biting anything apart from your food is VERY BAD)
FPsLife 5
Kid had it coming for biting you, but it'd be nice if you could keep some track of a 5-year-old who was sitting at your table. Wonder how many of your kids you'll lose.
dreamweaver1227 11
Wasn't just OP at the table. There was the kid's brother and their parents.
Dannie1308 11
its not her child to keep track of. the parents should have kept track of her.
star_ver 0
Why would there be a dog under your table in a high-end restaurant? You're an idiot.
BagelPower 0
17- She probably panicked and thought the worst possible scenario.
paigexox0 37
If something bit you under the table what would you think it was, im curious? I sure as hell wouldnt assume it to be human
Root123 0
Why would there be a dog at a high-end restaurant. Think about it next time.
i8u4mylunchbreak 0
why the hell would a DOG be in a restaraunt? your a dumbass, go get a life, and stop beating on little girls
cstevanus 4
maybe it was an outside restaurant? probly not, but its a possibility. and i would guess since she said she's terrified (phobia) that it really wasnt her fault. phobias cause such things. and she wasn't 'beating on little girls', the girl bit her and she kicked. thats called instinct. the kids fault for biting her. so why don't you get a life and stop being such a douche.
ecamp12 15
*you're the dumbass.
ScottyD620 0
I agree with kicking the shit out of the kid.. The kid deserved it for biting her. And seriously, if you get bit on the leg isn't your general reflux to kick? I sure as **** would