Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
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Top comments
ananicosia 28
Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene
spn_fanboy14 12
Shit happens man.
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Comments (174)
hardcorefan16 22
Ew that is disgusting
miss_fluffybutt 17
You've gotten yourself into a rather shitty situation.
AliGInTheHouse 24
That kinda lost its humour after the 500th time...
totallynotemily 25
But baby wipes. They clean #2 on your bottom well!
totallynotemily 25
*buy
SLFrankyD 9
*Butt
jeffprobs 29
*throws phone in volcano*
DemCideOhShiz 8
is your gf a size 1 or a size 20? thats vital information that could unveil how big this shit stain really can be.
yenze 18
How dose weight have anything to not knowing how to wipe your ass
yenze 18
*to do with
DemCideOhShiz 8
its simple.... the bigger the ass, the bigger the stain can possibly be. duh!?!?
DemCideOhShiz 8
keep the dislikes coming, *******!
kingshelly 24
I gagged just reading this
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Teach her how to use toilet paper.
OrganicSistah 17
She needs baby wipes.
ndnpride88 25
:-O oh my God bud that sticks
alcast10 5
but did it have drainage from her vag?
never_three 21
There's a difference between the smell of vaginal discharge and shit......
DemCideOhShiz 8
I would have never guessed.....
Xamry14 10
He said nothing about smell. Just said it was a stain. Could be old and from a previous period.
laughingboy23 20
...I was going to try to come up with something witty... I got nothing.
PotatoesAndCake 26
Come back when you have something