Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
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Top comments
ThrottleJockey 36
Love is a lot like a fart: if you have to force it it's probably shit.
RichardPencil 32
Kmart brand undies aren’t sexy, plus they were urine-stained anyways!
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Comments (16)
ThrottleJockey 36
Love is a lot like a fart: if you have to force it it's probably shit.
Dave_Davington 34
Love is actually like taking a shit. Sometimes it works itself out, but sometimes you have to give it a good, hard, slimy push.
Miss_Whipped 43
Maybe being in love with YOU is gross and slimy, but I don't think it works that way for everyone.
Dave_Davington 34
Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it.
RichardPencil 32
Kmart brand undies aren’t sexy, plus they were urine-stained anyways!
Lobby_Bee 18
Clean yourself up and go commando! Even sexier.
bltoth 8
You ppl are so gross.
bltoth 8
Did you know that 29% of homosexual men suffer from anal leakage? Don't make fun of him.
ThrottleJockey 36
Yup, rectal prolapse.
David Horgan 8
Why is that?
ARISKomuniszt 24
oops
heartslb 8
Shit!!! Quite literally.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Well that stinks.
EnvyMe33 26
That’s why you should work on tightening your muscles in that area
OnReceivingEnd 18
Never trust a fart. Nothing that embarrasses people by simply existing can ever be trusted.