Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ananicosia 28
Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene
spn_fanboy14 12
Shit happens man.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (174)
elsuperloco68 12
WTF????
slim_immy 7
That is just gross.
toasted1 13
when I first read this, I was so expecting... 'and then I puked on her crusty ******'
MoodyBlu 5
Everybody is saying "teach her to wipe". If I have to teach my woman to wipe her own ass, guess what? She isn't my woman.
kdmittens 9
its probably an old period stain that probably didnt get off while doing laundry! if you actually smelled shit.. then yes talk about personal hygiene to her or break up! :p
cloco87 22
That's a very shitty situation, maybe next time you could have your girlfriend shower before it's pants off, dance off.
Stooby61 18
You must have imagined it - everyone knows that girls don't shit
2ru 14
That is classic!!! I burst out laughing at that one, whew!!!!
fearbasel04 9
why post your personal shit on here.... lol
randommanwill 11
Maybe she switched from wearing diapers a bit too soon.