Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML
Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
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Top comments
Recon13x 9
Someone thinks highly of themselves.
Tripartita 45
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us. Just a stranger on the… tram. It doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
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Comments (69)
Recon13x 9
Someone thinks highly of themselves.
h00tzForOsi 20
Sounds like they were around Kanye West
aeryn97 17
#12 wins the Internet lol
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Wins the internet? ******* hell, did we just go back in time to 2009?
anonymous198913 26
They think of themselves a little too highly.
jansdrs 19
17, what's wrong with 2009?
kittykat1501 31
Or somebody named their kid god. either way.
YBae 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well you never know, do you? ;)
thawny_fml 21
As a character from the top selling fantasy novel, I'd say he's probably not god.
Xamry14 10
Found the obnoxious Atheist! There's a difference between an Atheist and an obnoxious Atheist. OA for some reason feel the need to announce to the world how stupid everyone is for blindly believing in a "fantasy novel" creator while showing how superior they are for blindly believing that there is no such thing without proof either way. Atheists just believe what they believe without the blatant hypocrisy.
junjunbun 28
Ooooh, interesting. Should've told him you were discussing satanism to shut him up... ;)
jojocircus19 16
You should've said 'Geez I know, we hate each other REMEMBER!?
lchollett 22
You should've just said to him: "Dad?"
jarrahj 19
He had a dream he was King he woke up still king
LivToFail 28
I think I am god, so therefore I am! This man is an impostor. On a more sereous side note, how the hell do people like this exist... Sereously.
domolovesyoshi 33
How do seriously mentally ill people exist? Are you really ******* serious? You seriously don't think people like this should exist?
LivToFail 28
No, not what I was talking about #24, it was more of a shakeing my head gesture. I'm thinking that its odd that someone thinks that he is god. the "how do people like this exist" was kinda just my way of wondering why this guy thinks like he did, if you got some sort of misunderstanding, pm me about it please.
General_Cool 24
*seriously
Xamry14 10
He was probably not mentally ill and was being a smart ass. A serious tone doesn't mean it wasnt a joke. Best jokes are told with straight faces. Calm down geeze. No one said anything remotely close to what your going on about. I think you need reading comprehension classes.
Fairyjoshy 13
Just because he said it in a serious tone doesn't mean he wasn't joking.
DoomedGemini 38
Exactly, my brother makes jokes like this constantly.
CaptMacLeod 45
I have a friend that follows any utterance of "Oh my God" or "Dear God" with "Yes, can I help you?" This is part of a time-honored tradition of Freaking The Mundanes. Sounds like you found a player.
SilioMarwolaeth 23
for some reason, this reminds me of that one episode of that '70s show where Leo said he saw God on the bus
dolphinlvr7 24
I think I figured out your reason
Tripartita 45
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us. Just a stranger on the… tram. It doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
ZachZach99999 8
Just a stranger on the bus like one of us?
Miss_Whipped 43
Right over your head, #48...