Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
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Top comments
ananicosia 28
Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene
spn_fanboy14 12
Shit happens man.
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Comments (174)
rangersaprentice 8
I'd always made sure that I was clean when my boyfriend wanted to be kinky that night.
vikky538 29
I read the state name as "vaginia"
stp9782 11
Maybe she has gi problems I do and it ruins some underwear like that
uhmhaicats 14
I'm sorry OP but there isn't really any excuse for poop stains in underwear. She should have thrown those things away a LONG time ago.
vintageart1994 16
Do u still like her tho? That's what I wanna know
KagamineRinny 14
it mightve been and more likely was an old period blood stain which is a lot less gross so hopefully it was
InsanityVerge 8
are you sure they were not period stains they can look awefully similar and they don't wash out. some people have medical problems where there blood has iron deficiency and it can then look very very similar.
stoopid1970 7
Shit I just got out of the shower and all of a sudden I feel so dirty what a shitty feeling
QueenBii 14
Well don't feel too bad. I felt my dinner come up a bit while reading this. Guess to teach her how to wipe?
bprattle93 1
That's really gross. Are you positive it was shit stains and not an old period stain?