Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my mom was a swinger when I opened a closet and saw a water bottle saying something with "Swinger Club" on it, with three bags beside it with all kinds of shit in it. She's also doing pole dancing "as a sport" and wanted to have one installed in our living room. My parents divorced just a couple of months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I found my dad on a dating website looking for younger girls. My mother and father are "happily" married, well according to her Facebook profile. FML
Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
So, did they accidentally leave their profile visible on a computer you were using, or does swinging run in the family?
Lobby_Bee 18
How exactly did you find that out? You went on a swingers website? Or simply just browsing for ****?
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Comments (15)
BurnInDemonFire 39
So, did they accidentally leave their profile visible on a computer you were using, or does swinging run in the family?
lj19717 19
It’s good to know you can still have fun after having children
RichardPencil 32
They pronounced them “hole-a-days,” and you don’t want to know why!
Spiritbird 17
Can you imagine how many 'branches' she must be swinging on everyday being an extremely active swinger? PS- Sorry op fyl
Spiritbird 17
Can you imagine how many 'branches' she must be swinging on everyday being an extremely active swinger? PS- Sorry op fyl
Lobby_Bee 18
How exactly did you find that out? You went on a swingers website? Or simply just browsing for ****?
chosha_fml 27
What were you Googling to find that? :)
Jr Malvitz 15
*heavy raspy breathing* leia i am not your father
DanielleinDC 34
I'd love to know how you found that out. That said, as long as you don't run into them at a party (that would be an FML for the ages), what do you care what they do with other consenting adults?
QueenAfrodite 8
Lol so hard. Man that would be freaking hysterical.
Tarlachia 33
🎶 Stacy’s Mom has got it going on...🎶