Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML
Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML
Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
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Top comments
lissylauren 0
Sucks but atleast you didn't punch the dog..
mdizzl 6
I don't blame you. roosters are ******* annoying as hell
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Comments (178)
JweezyBreezy 5
Lol cockerel.
allstarfave 0
What the heck does that mean
eminemchick 19
hell yes hole punching! "this guy keeps screaming; hes paranoid. quick, someone get this man another steroid!"
FMASS 0
8 miles FTW
iiDangerCloseBK 6
Hi
yoimtrollin 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for having no self-control.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It comes easier to some than it does to others. It depends on your nature more than anything. But it could still be changed with help and persistence.
eminemchick 19
hell yes hole punching! "this guy keeps screaming; hes paranoid. quick, someone get this man another steroid!"
Rick_S 3
No self control? I say he has some. He didn't hit the dog, and he didn't hit the rooster. He took his anger out on an inanimate object. Hey, OP, keep that in mind when you go for anger management course. You already have some management over your anger. People who go to these things by court order would have killed the dog, so you're already a little ahead of the game.
ChucktheNorris 0
At least OP didn't choke the dog.
humorizer 14
Or even worse, choke the chicken.
PutItIn 8
Haha 18 8 Mile reference
Jaimegirl 7
Sorry if I'm wrong, but the end of the sentence in this FML looks terribly written to me, "every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise." haha
eminemchick 19
haha yessir 58;)
Eaglestrike117 29
Run-on!!!
Soloman212 28
No not really... "the rooster" is the noun, "which my neighbors just got" is a modifying clause used as an adjective, and "makes noise" is the verb. It's a correct, albeit complex, sentence.
Jaimegirl 7
Woah I just read it in a whole new way! Haha they mean they just got the rooster and its irritating OP's dog, gotcha :P
KittyKhaotic 1
-.- he needs to chill
Newboyz00185 0
In soviet Russia Cabinet punches you!
twisted54 1
Y'all just got schooled by a very weird looking bird...:)
eminemchick 19
107 your picture is so fitting to your commentXD
stro88 6
116 probably not cuz that guy looks Asian, not Russian. And I don't think that's a bird I think that's that weird looking monkey.
Iskaria 0
Actually 135 - Eastern Russia shares extensive borders with Mongolia and China (it also touches tips with North Korea). A massive section of the country is in what would be considered the 'Far East' and an even greater section still in Asia (north of Kazakstan). I think it's easy to surmise that you would not step over the border and the inhabitants would suddenly look completely different. That thing seems to be a Mandrill Baboon.
MILFSaregood 7
ANONYMOUS MADDDD!! Arghhhhh punch
lissylauren 0
Sucks but atleast you didn't punch the dog..
flockz 20
ya you would have to rename him doughnut.
eminemchick 19
fitting picture flockz(;
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Lol
flamegrilled123 3
It also looks like op should get some new kitchen cabinets if he can just punch straight through them
ashleylucky16 6
PETA would have been all up on that...
OffTJHook3r 2
Am I hallucinating or did the words just change.
sxe_beast 11
I feel like he shouldn't have the dog in case he loses his anger to the point of hurting it. I've punched the wall near my dog before and it really scared her =c! Although I didn't punch the wall because of her.
bball234 6
81- i think you need your prescription updated.
22cute 17
You can get a simple device at Petco to train your dog to stop barking in the house. Please do it. And yeah, anger management is a good idea.
ollierobs 0
Instead of punching the dog, just choke the chicken then, that should calm you ;)
cBlackout 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'd have drop kicked the little dog >:)
shay1813 0
Your a terrible person :P
crazychick1269 7
I would've drop kicked the rooster:)
Soloman212 28
According to the thumb distribution, FMLers prefer dogs to roosters.
ksheets97 6
Same :P I hate little dogs.
bball234 6
why not just kick it normally..?
iluvwaffles42 0
Do you punch babies in your spare time, also?
cBlackout 13
Occasionally :) I'd also have made myself a fried chicken breast.
imaninja1 9
24 like your pic lol
leemurcat 5
Kill it with fire!
zachwass 0
^ cool person
flockz 20
fire is so last week and so mainstream though...
SuperNinjaa 0
DRAGONBALL Z ABRIDGED WINS
leemurcat 5
bizarre_ftw 22
38 - says the person with ass balloon and stream of fire in their picture. Seriously? You didn't see the hypocrisy in your statement and picture when you wrote that?
Cappiej 18
I thought it was something else =O
MrWhite139 0
Fùk this chick
rawrface22 10
What exactly would punching the cabinet do to stop your dog from yapping?
cBlackout 13
He punched cuz he was mad..
yoimtrollin 24
14- no, really? I thought he punched it because he was having a fantastic day. :P (it was sarcasm, in case you didn't notice)
KiddNYC1O 22
You say that now. If you become angered I bet you'd punch something out of instinct.
rawrface22 10
Yeah.. I have punched innocent walls that had nothing to do with my anger -__-
Soloman212 28
Then you're an idiot for asking that question... And probably also need a quick anger management course.
rjfv 0
Fag
ifailplzinsultme 0
Yeah I mean the cabinet has feelings too
Sydnayy 4
Punching shit doesn't help.
cBlackout 13
151 youd be surprised.
klimajake 5
Dumbass
mynameis1339 0
Cockatoo? Cockatiel? Im Guessing it was birds
DeLpHe3zY 7
well you thought right i guess.. or maybe youre just stressed
DavLynn 4
it rhymes :P
DeLpHe3zY 7
cute..
ciarafox9 9
Yeah, I'm thinking anger management is a good idea..