Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Creepy
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Pincushion
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Psssssych!
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Winds of change
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Slasher
Today, I made some burritos when a photo frame fell and smashed over my pan. I'm pretty broke so I thought I got all the glass out of the meat and ate some. I reheated the meat for dinner too and well, I found the glass that time... FML
I'm outta here
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Spider-man
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Top comments
colton_colton 50
You will once you sit down
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I wouldn't be able to sleep... I hope you can find them. Look in quiet dark places and don't stick your hands anywhere you can't see!
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Comments (133)
colton_colton 50
You will once you sit down
MrsDruidess 23
hahaha Murphys law!! personally I think crap like this is almost guaranteed to happen with pets like these, again Murphys law. If uou wouldn't be ok with them getting out of their containers, maybe not have them in the house. (they ALL get out eventually)
BrokenIt 13
Time to burn the house down.
happysmile987 24
OP never said he was scared of them missing.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I wouldn't be able to sleep... I hope you can find them. Look in quiet dark places and don't stick your hands anywhere you can't see!
poppyseed420 9
Check under furniture, and I recommend using tongs to pick them up, they'll walk onto one tong if you gently nudge them from behind with the other
worldclassrager 41
Better than a tranchula...right? (Corrections accepted)
AllieCat21 21
Tarantula :-)
MidnaLink 35
Really? Couldn't correct yourself?
renrioku 15
19 - I am assuming by the "corrections accepted" that 3 did not know how to spell tarantula. Tarantula isn't something you say everyday so a lot of people don't know how to spell it.
annihil8or 15
26- That's why there's this new thing called the internet, which you have to connect to for commenting on here anyways
stargirl_95 24
I would rather deal with one tarantula than more than one scorpion
MrConcise 35
I dunno, scorpions have two pinchers and a stinger. A tarantula has two fangs. Basic math tells me that I'd rather deal with a tarantula. But, as a tarantula owner, I am biased. ;)
Nyx7 24
tarantula. and hell no it isn't better rather get bit by a tarantula than stung by a scorpion
Retaheki 27
@33 I can't really search up how to spell a word if I can't spell it, and I'm certain he can't. His best help is Google telling him "Did you mean tarantula?"
rekkas 16
You'll find them... Eventually... One way or another...
BillMurray_fml 12
Maybe they'll find OP instead. Homeward Bound: Scorpion Edition
MrSassypants 34
Your comment reminds me of that song by Blondie. "One way, or another. I'm gonna find ya. I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha."
rekkas 16
Haha I didn't think of that. It kind of does sound like it now that I think about it.
dylanhasemann 9
your Indian that's why
ComoEsJuan 24
How did you get a band inside glass containers?
Llama_Face89 34
What? You haven't seen Futurama?
Toughsky 23
I can't see why you would have negative votes. That was a nice reference #5.
panpan923 5
Took me a minute to get the reference
pugpuggy 21
I hope you sleep well, OP...
TabooSushi 24
And this why people should not keep venomous creatures as pets.
Welshite 40
Cats and dogs have their own dangers. No matter the animal, there is always some risk associated with it. People like different animals, including poisonous pets. My pet (non-venomous) has tried to kill me several times, but I still love her.
Enslaved 38
All scorpions are venomous. That's how they hunt their prey. But you're correct, many are not fatal if they sting a human. However, I'm sure there are some that may have an extreme allergic reaction (similar to fatalities to a bee stung). Heard scorpions glow with a black light.
slyde32 12
that they do, years ago I went to an environmental display, and that was one of the things they had, a scorpion under a black light. looked pretty cool
MrConcise 35
#37 is correct. Venom is just an injected toxin. A creature doesn't have to be deadly to be "venomous".
more4me 27
Amen to that. I've never understood why people keep dangerous snakes as pets either. I know there is a cool factor but still ...
happysmile987 24
37 - its actually a UV light
kinky44 28
They're in your nightmares.
spikey818 9
They're fighting sub-zero in the fridge.
bitchthankyou 4
this does not have nearly as many upvotes as it should
youllnvrkno 8
I love you for stating this reference.
ShitHappen_fml 15
You'll find them in the wrong place at the wrong time.