Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
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Top comments
johobus28 26
I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"
sorryheadphones 26
*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"
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Comments (57)
johobus28 26
I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"
BigLatchZatch 14
DAMN IT GOOSE. YOU HAD ONE JOB: TO BE A GOOSE AND YOU'RE DOING IT.
RoboCunnilingus 23
I WANTED YOU TO BE A ******* DUCK! AGH!
GoldFishPony 21
I have to question whether OP is named William Henry Devereaux Jr...
T_Young96 13
I hit rock bottom when I thought that read.. "I JUST WANT TO **** YOU GOOSE".. And for that.. I apologize.
wilber245 16
Well with some people you scream at them for being stupid, and everybody knows, you cant fix stupid.
Dlzq 22
That's hilarious, sorry for you, though.
patrickeli 15
I wish there was a backstory to this.
Fuaaad1994 31
Op obviously saw the goose when she stormed outside after beating her daughter with a *****.
DiamondGirlj 18
Wrong way around. OP got mad at the goose, only to come home to find OP's daughter's ***** thing and beat her with it
PePziNL 20
No no no, she beat the ***** with the goose because she was angry at it for being a duck... Uuhm, I'm confused.
piff7 14
OP was having a bad day after discovering her at shat on her favorite shoes. To calm herself she took a stroll around a pond. Along the way she came across this goose. The goose was just chilling out like a normal goose and OP needed to lash out on something, anything and the goose seemed like the perfect target
KitchKraft 21
You're all wrong. The goose was the *****.
qchris87 17
Both you and the goose need help
cheshirecat13242 32
Things being what they are has always pissed me off too
sorryheadphones 26
*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"
barfcannon 24
I don't blame you. Geese are the worst.
Oyas12 14
It's ok, maybe you will react more positive to other animals?
joarasmi 24
Lol did he eat all ur bread