Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Only in California...
mosquito19 14
you're narcissistic and you have no idea you're pathetic
coolbrony12 3
I'm gonna go with both and add one more: gay
keshaforever1 14
Heh, I find it funny that you're supposedly a "brony", yet you go hate and call someone gay when bronies are supposed to love and tolerate.
phatdaddy62 23
Who says that they are mutually exclusive?
kenleybunch 15
I just.... I don't know what to say to that
Driveshaft 5
Palin would say you're pathassistic. Then claim that word has always been in her vocabulmations.
RedPillSucks 33
That's narcithetic! Don't let me bring out my imaginary unabridged Palin edition of the Websters dictionary.
Driveshaft 5
Is it the 5th edition? Otherwise we may both be wrong...
abbymichelle 1
That's disgusting and we don't really care about you masterbating the whole thing is pathetic!
Jaxx66 21
Actually masturbation is quite normal. And this is FML, we are on this site; which means we somewhat care. Seeing as you are a newbie, I will let you off with a warning. Don't speak for all of us, we obviously all have different opinions. (and as for my warning: keep up with this type of thing and you'll never get thumbed up.)
taylorandrew 0
Well I kinda agree that nobody cares if you're doing it or not, yes it is FML, but that doesn't mean people need to tell us everything like this.
thisguy45 2
Everybody masturbates. Even if you don't know it.
dansco 25
Well you obviously love yourself so you are wanking about the person you love... Lol
custmwoody9 4
I suggest meeting more women and if u like watching make sure someone else is putting on the performance for you.
Angelrae 5
Both