Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
gowan50 4
GAYYYY
Lifeispain147 6
OK WTF? one get out yes its fine to ********** BUT THIS...THIS is just wrong. to get to this point your gonna be the "forever alone" in your group (if you have any) of friends
yesyesnonono 10
If you're a guy, it's gross and pathetic. If you're a girl, it's kind of hot.
beegee11 4
Pathetic, definitely pathetic.
CapnCapes 4
You've gotta know how you look. lol
mld4657 28
eh it's just what you prefer. I know plenty of people who do that. it's like having sex in front of a mirror but there's only one person instead of 2,3,4,5....
Setion 8
Honestly? If you can only achieve ****** looking at yourself yes, I'd say something was wrong. If this is just something that makes it better for you, then I wouldn't be too worried. There are far weirder kinks out there. And anyway, if you do have sex with someone else, you'll probably be more comfortable with your body because you've seen your responses for yourself. What is a little weird is relying on the internet to tell you if you're weird =)
dead_insects 18
well...it IS your hand that's getting you off, so.... ;)
Albarufus 13
Well if you don't love yourself, who else will? Crap, I just saw myself in the reflection of my iPhone! So horny!
irritatedone 5
Hell I saw you in ur comment and got horny.
SanaSazi 32
It makes you hit if yr a girl and if yr a guy... Ewwww lol :-)