Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
noisebox 1
As long as you don't start getting excited about the idea of other guys jerking off, or you jerking them off because you then run the risk of becoming a poofter!
GrahamWilliams 0
You are so weird!!!
davek 36
Both, YDI, and I facepalmed so hard my hand went through the wall behind me.
JaysonYMCMB 1
wat does narcisstic mean?
scadeypants 2
Narcissistic. I do it. It's not my fault that no one is as sexy as me... But seriously, it's hot. Don't knock it until you've tried it.
Wvaddour 0
It means u are gay bc u like playing with dick and seeing yourself play with dick probably imagining u are doing it to another guy
Rick_E_Fresh 0
Both
nixster 3
I think it's actually pretty hot to watch yourself.. Plus, you get to see what you look like when other people see you ?
Jonaahhhh 12
I hope someone gets this reference: Hit the lights... It's boner time!
neander 8
pathetic