Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
Today, I realised just how badly I procrastinate because I wanted to take a nap before going out for a friend's birthday, but I kept putting it off until I simply didn't have the time. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
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Top comments
forgetable 9
I’ve been there.
Kristoffer 35
I've fallen asleep during the act... not only one time.
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Comments (7)
forgetable 9
I’ve been there.
EmDizzle2007 28
I got you next time.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Bite my lip, and close my eyes, take me away to paradise...
Kristoffer 35
I've fallen asleep during the act... not only one time.
RichardPencil 32
That’s probably what a lot of guys feel about you.
Selene1090 26
Same here lmao
Cheryl Castilleja 4
You should’ve just told yourself “not tonight, babe”, and rolled over.