Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
DonnyGraf 2
It makes you a pathetic and narcissistic home.
sweetmama88 6
Why would you look at your self ? That's plain crazy .
fakeysLady 3
It's called Normal! It's ok to know what you like so when you are with someone you can tell them how you like it:)
br0ccoli 15
Narcissistic or pathetic? Are those the choices? How about the option of: 'so damn sexy I turn myself on and can't help it that my privates are actually nice to look at'? Keep tending to your Secret Garden, OP. There are much stranger things to be into while masturbating.
EMTchic 14
Keep it simple, go with both !
sorrowsangel89 1
Maybe your body is telling you something...like you might be gay. :)
journeytotheend 16
I do that too... But I'm sexy as hell
ifknh8usernames 7
I've done it before.. because I have awesome **** and because **** takes too long to load on my phone sometimes.
TheNewGuy03 29
Try walking toward the mirror as you climax. You can see yourself come in two senses. |the kid|
yaniggamatt 3
it probably makes you gay.
MissMae93 23
It wasn't funny when the first six people said it and it's not funny now.
Good_old_Grim 8
Actually this dude was the 6th person to comment that. Anyway, why would that be funny? The commenters are just trying to help OP come to terms with it.
zayene112 4
I know how u feel