Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
davide223 0
Well I hope you're at least hot ;P
metaphoristic 8
Just don't watch yourself for too long; you might turn into a narcissus
DanGav 6
No..... I believe that may make you gay
PhishloverA 14
That's just plain screwed up
Hockeyboy4280 18
This reminds me of that sex scene from American Psycho, when Christian Bale was pointing to himself in the mirror and admiring himself while he was having sex with those 2 girls... Anyone remember what I'm talking about?
soxnroxs 8
Yes, it's one of my favorite movies ^_^ "I have to return some video tapes. . ."
dead_insects 18
great movie!
Shenannigoats 16
Neither. Seems okay to me.
suckmylife669 0
Why would you look at your self?
taylorandrew 0
Well considering you're probably ugly, just watch ****.
KiddNYC1O 22
How did you come up with that? Would you beat off to yourself if you were "ugly".
taylorandrew 0
No that's exactly the point of you're ugly why do it to yourself?
thisguy45 2
It's funny how everybody assumes that the person who posted this is a guy
taylorandrew 0
OHMG xD
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Jesus. That--I don't even...
scadeypants 2
Exactly what I was thinking.
reesealtoona 2
autosexual... weird, even weirder someone posted it