Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
Jeffers123 5
Isn't there a saying like " if u don't love yourself why should other people"?
MissMae93 23
Is it just me, or is it strange that out of all the horrific things which may gratuitously "**** people's lives", OP's one catastrophic event is being unable to decide whether or not watching themselves ********** is "narcissistic" or "pathetic"? Yeesh, I wish my life's issues were that simple.
dominic1221 6
Go to SomethingAwful instead then. FML's for entertainment, or didn't you figure that out yet being too busy acting like a killjoy? -_-
MissMae93 23
128 - Just two FML's prior, a girl found her sister and boyfriend fooling around in the shower. THAT qualifies as a situation where it truly "***** OP's life", she loses her boyfriend and her family is split apart all at the same time. This FML in the other hand is ridiculous, it's really not ruining OP's life in any way, shape or form.
charlottesun 0
honestly I kinda turn myself on. if it is a regular thing you should find some other people to look at tho
charlottesun 0
probably shouldn't have admitted that... hahaha
charlottesun 0
and I agree with missmae (118)
061889 0
Or just gayyy
tooney_fml 8
That depends. Are you a guy or girl?
picturescrazy 24
I like watching myself too, I don't think it makes me narcissistic or pathetic.
challan 19
You guys always make me feel like a pervert! Does no one else like to look in the mirror and watch themselves get busy? I mean most times it's with a partner, but whatever! It's ****, only you're the star.
3Aboodii 16
Thats pretty ****** up in my books :) try getting laid for a change...