Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
saIty 17
I'm guessing you make some exotic faces when you play with your schlong.
CantBeatMe2007 5
Or his/her shlort
RedPillSucks 33
schlort!! Bahahahahahah
TzHaar_Joh_Zuhai 4
If u see some1 looking at u in the mirror... Look them in the eyes and finish like a boss
DarkHelmet 10
It makes you disgusting as well as pathetic; that you would bust a nut looking at yourself to get off
oneFUCKINword 8
Bit harsh don't you think? What ever happened to open-minded-ness? I, personally, find it a tad creepy, but whatever floats their boat. As long as OP's happy, what does it matter? I'm sure you have a dirty little secret regarding what turns you on too.
tctheamazing 7
13- people get off to more vile and horrible things than what OP does.
egc573 40
Quite a moral dilemma this must be. There is a third option here, though; I've rarely ever met a narcissist who isn't pathetic. So hopefully, dilemma solved!
day624 14
I think thats first- gross; second-pathetic
every1luvsboners 11
It just means you've got one hell of an imagination. I can't remember the last time I had to use my imagination to fap. It would probably take 2 hours of hard-core fapping to achieve under those circumstances.
Jordanln97 9
Boners! I've missed you!
pmadNess 16
Me too!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Two hours!!?? Did you have any skin left?
paschale 7
Actually it makes you gay
Bluekaren16 19
Just don't think about it. Its actually quite healthy and normal. Well i suppose so.
LordOfLincoln 6
Both. You need a blow-up doll to mate with.
luckyd880 12
Or u know...a gf!
gnas_fml 4
shaun? are you the OP?