Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
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Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
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Comments (110)
iamchuck 0
You can so that, but desperate always shines through, so it's just going to make you look even more so.
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, you care too much about what others think. You should worry about being happy, not appearing happy. By the way, you don't need to be in a relationship to be perfectly happy.
righttorule 0
WTF - do it op - a lot of people lie on Facebook. But maybe also join a single site or 2 or 10!
slaveboy 0
lol little old for facebook lmfao!
WtFiMdAdDy 0
I always thought facebook was for the older people and myspace for the young people....hmmm.
ohSNAPyall 27
Kinda the other way around, in my experience. This levels off around 40-45 though because folks older than that generally just now got profiles, so they signed up with facebook.
Squander 3
Being single isn't really desperate. Lying about being single to hide the fact it's been seventeen years IS desperate.
amayasoma 19
OP just needs to get out more. Myabe she does spend too much time on Facebook amd a little less time in actually trying to meet someone. If OP actually did care about meeting someone she would actually try.
KurouTenshi 0
what sucks for you is that you have to get another person to be "in a relationship" with. they have to accept the invite. better start on making a new male account. if you have a pet, make them an account. get in a relationship with them then people will not only be surprised to see you're in a relationship, but you're into some pretty freaky shit too.
fisheatsbear 6
yeaahhh or they'll think that she just loves her pet way too much, and be one of those chicks that will dump you because her cat hates you...
KurouTenshi 0
that's happened to me before. the girl told me her dog didn't like me, and that if it doesn't learn to like me, we wouldn't be able to live together. :/
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
It sounds like you are finding this out from experience. Are you saying you're in a relationship with someone just so people like me stop hitting* on you? *implies the use of a 5-year-old Mexican child, a soldering gun, and the promise (lie) to never leave you behind in case there is a mass flooding that we cause in the immediate area.
Devolver 0
Is The Rocky Horror Picture Show a good movie? Could explain something... Ah well, atleast your situation is not as bad as Susan Boyle, keep positive!
CallMeHush 1
Rocky Horror is a horrible movie, but one hell of a good time if you don't mind the lines being blurred a little.
Intellectualist 0
Sacrilage!! Rocky horror is fantastic!
CallMeHush 1
I rest my case.
redbluegreen 41
I liked the movie, but I prefer it live.
CallMeHush 1
It+should+always+be+viewed+live+or+at+a+theater+and+never+at+home+unless+of+course+you+are+throwing++a+special+party.%0A%0AOh+God+I+miss+those+days%21
mollypop35 28
It's an interesting journey, that's all I'll say. XD I love it live though
Veamon 0
get offline and join the real world. are you fat? do you put out?