Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
jayAZ 3
If you put 'in relationship' you're setup to be looked at as off the market. Seperating yourself EVEN MORE from socializing with something other than a website. So, spice it up...answer some craigslist adds now and then! Perhaps then you'll have a real FMY and someone stalking you.
Zenma 0
I'm sorry but this has to be fake.
Angel114 0
you know you can just choose to not show that status right?
CallMeHush 1
Do the rubber cadaver bodies on CSI count as dead women? More than a few of those have been better than OK.
perdix 31
Mercy, I'm working on my compendium on the "my wife doesn't understand me" strategy which will rival Clausewitz' "On War" and put lazy, neglectful wives to rout. Here's a quick tip: telling a woman that your wife calls you by your brother's name will get you a *******. If it was during sex, the woman will jump your bones. Go forward with knowledge.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Um, perdix, my brother is only 3-years-old... This just became relevant to my interests...
Upster 0
I doubt anyone will notice she changes her status!
aardvarkish 17
that's under the belt, dude
CallMeHush 1
@pendatic I knew I wasn't the only one, Six Feet Under had good bodies also. ~humming Cold Ethyl~
perdix 31
Mercy, not a good sign. The woman will start hitting on your wife, or your mother, but she'll lose all interest in you. That's a bad strategy.
mahamii_93 0
how about you work on your personality and looks?