Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
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Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
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Comments (110)
hummingbug 2
first of all, i'm just gonna point out the movie: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. (if you haven't watched it, it's definitely a must see!!) and anyways, i know a person who hasn't dated in 12 years but doesn't care because she's doing what she was called to do. maybe instead of looking for a boyfriend, look for something that gives you fulfillment. whether that's going to live in Africa and becoming a rescue worker/nurse, atttempting to hike all the mountains in the world, WHATEVER you want!! obviously there's a money issue so keep it within your own budget but do something that will help alleviate the blues. maybe just go back to school but go study abroad for a year? oh, and there is nothing wrong with facebook. it's better than myspace or twitter.
chloeginger 0
haha number 18. Gavin!
chloeginger 0
But I brought 1996 back to glory with my perfect punctuation, spelling, and grammar! Hizzah! haha I'm not that weird...
yungstunna1 0
poor op. FYmothafuckinL
drop7theworld 0
ouch that must suck
bubber 0
WTF is up with these women bitching about not having any relationships in years/decades? Do they not ever leave thier homes or are they the women who rudely reject anything with a penis who shows the slightest intrest in them? Granted I am sure there are shy/introverted women out there who have a hard time connecting, but years/decades... Come on, do somthing different, what you have going on aint working.
madbad93 0
haha if u that desperate u can talk to me lol
bizzarmind 0
I cant understand why women have such a hard time finding men. Im sure you could find someone if you put in the effort.
fukyolife 0
damn dats a long time .. if ur under 40 and partly attractive or atleast clean I can b ur fukbuddy
RoxyRaccoon 4
People who say she's not looking hard enough for a man need to lay off. Obviously, she's only interested in transvestites.