Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
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Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
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Comments (110)
perdix 31
Actually, Mercy, that's what I came to comment about. I don't know the stats if she cut her chances of being hit on by labeling herself "in a relationship" or enhanced them. What is for sure is the type if people that will be hitting on her: those that want to entice a woman to cheat (often because they themselves are looking to cheat), as opposed to another lonely single person looking for a single person. Let us know how that strategy works out for ya!
murfukkaaaa 0
Personally, I will sometimes rule out an otherwise desirable woman if she's been single for absolutely ages on the assumption that there must be something wrong with her (ie probably way too shy and needy?) If an interesting woman is in a relationship, that tells me she is sought-after and therefore maybe worth dating. Of course I won't make any moves during the time of that relationship, because I'm not a bastard, but I will certainly be more interested in her when she next becomes available, than if she had been available the whole time. I can't be the only person who thinks like that.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
What if the "desirable woman" in question is dead? How does that fit into your method?
ahhhmber 0
jesus how old are you?
Cindii 0
Your name is amazing MrsRockyHorror
Dutchie2010 0
Wow...i was born in '92. That sucks for you
exotica_fml 6
story of my life! ive been single for about 8 years tho...but i dont lie about it
zenti 2
If you're that desperate, maybe you should actually go out and meet people instead of fooling around on Facebook.
frickyourlives 0
Just become a monk and have done with the idea, 18 years is ridiculous, for normal folk a dry streak of 6 months would be disturbing and would convince them to look at someone they consider below their league. Unless you are in the very bottom league and can't, in which case, FYL.
xhalighx 0
You, my friend, are an idiot.
frickyourlives 0
Not really, fair enough I didn't have to be condescending, but the message was for the OP to lower their standards. It's not like people genuinely expect constructive advice in a place like this. And if they do expect that, then they almost, wait, entirely, deserve to be ridiculed.
perdix 31
murfukaaaa, you wasted all that verbiage when you could have summed it up as,"I like to be the rebound ****!" Ladies, Exhibit A: the type of guy who lurks around checking out women that are in relationships.