Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
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Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
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Comments (110)
cyl3x 0
It's okay to feel lonely. XD
Dubstep_fml 1
haha. desperate.
MF12 0
gasp. only one person replies to the top? (two now...)
malheartsnutmeg 20
The only thing I hate more than Facebook is FML's about Facebook. P.S: My iPod tried to auto-correct "Facebook" to "Gavin", what's up with that?
bleedinginside 0
ydi u live in vermont
TrekkieGirl 0
I will never understand why people have to be in a relationship in order to feel happy and fulfilled. Enjoy your life! Surround yourself with hobbies and good friends that will fill a little bit of the void that you're obviously feeling.
marleytooyou 0
dude 92 yea ur desperate!!!! I'm suprised u even have friends on facebook if u have been single that long
marleytooyou 0
well+when+ur+single+for+that+long+it%27s+called+pathetic
imdeborah 0
Marley%2C+that%27s+one+of+the+most+ignorant+things+you+can+say.+Life+does+not+revolve+around+being+in+a+different+relationship+every+month%2Fyear+or+anytime+at+all.+Please%2C+get+a+reality+check.+
imdeborah 0
WTF? I have NO idea why symbols appeared in my comment. Or why my comments get cut-off. You can thank the fml app for iPhone for that. >.< I meant to say that what Marley said was one of the most ignorant things you can say. Life does NOT revolve around being in a relationship. Now, THAT is pure immaturity.
sum1savemeh 0
Marley+is+ignorant
ReyEr9412 0
Since 92?!?!? Not being in a relationship for awhile is one thing, but 18 years is a whole nother story! There are kids who were born at the end of that relationship who are now legally adults!
78euge781995 0
You dont need to be in a relationship to be happy. Live your life! Go to some parties, have fun with some friends, go on dates!
mfmylifesrsly 30
holy **** 1992?!?!?! thats when i was born! okay, i shouldnt say that, dont worry OP, someone out there is for you....lets just hope you find that someone before your ovaries stop working so you can have kids...
paigeatsflesh 11
Marley your a fake! get off here, honestllllly. your so annyoing. I bet your super hit in person so you have to get an atractive "scene girl" as your picture. get a life!
cgysoccerfreak 0
only in the states
Felendris 0
18 years....? I doubt that....
bubbarific 0
ydi for bein antisocial
XCaLX_fml 0
hahaha(10 18 30) hahahhahahhahahhahHHa anywho u eather **** b4u date or u have no1 but family(if tat)in ur friends list so just dont have a facebook
Jlevrt 0
whoa! Thats over 15 years!@
AndreaHaha 0
damn go and get out there then it's nobody fault but yours go get you someone or atleast try (:
dealwithlife 0
that sucks dude. find someone who you connect with, and try it. if it doesn't work out there are other people.
gregsdaman 0
and ur a girl...DAMN u must b ugly! or have no **** and ass
Peacemaker9 7
wow that is desperate but have faith you'll find someone who's just as desperate like u lol
ravensfan5 0
18 years?!?? holy ****
victoria4161993 0
you have been single as long as I've been alive
xstarling 0
Wow. That sucks. >_
kniickles 0
you've been single for most, if not all, of the people on FML's lives. YDI.
WtFiMdAdDy 0
That's pretty sad.
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
WtFiMdAdDy 0
damn bruhh I just thought about that.....lol
I_am_Pingu 0
That is my age, wow. Such a shame
HamsteronA 0
I've been in a relationship since then and I wasn't even born then. not for another couple of years
buttonface 0
You're almost 1992? Great job, teeniebopper.
gethightonight 0
lmao, youre kinda like the blue jays :P except the jays won in 92 and 93
amayasoma 19
Wow, that's horrible. Start going out on dates or hanging out at places more. :D
karina_said 0
what they need is t get off face book and make real life friends. ...like at the library..
CallMeHush 1
OK Mercy that is seriously creepy, we have a guy like that here. He rides the bus.
CallMeHush 1
The little town I more or less grew up in didn't have one, I know I was always at the libra... nevermind.
idkweird 0
Agreed with #5, and also, maybe stop trying to meet men at the Rocky Horror Picture Shows!
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
baby_love 0
hahahaahahahahahaha
chloeginger 0
those commercials are SO ANNOYING!
lenasaur 0
17 years? Holy ******* shit, you need to open up to people a little bit more. Im sure youll find someone to take interest in you.
cooluc 0
2010-1992=18 years since we don't know when in 92 said relationship ended, 18 years is a better assumption than 17.
Freeze_fml 17
17 would be a better assumption since the relationship would have had to ended in the first three months for it to be 18 years.
hk_fml 9
That is so depressing. O_O I think it's time for you to try online dating if you already haven't. No shame in it, it's a great way to meet interesting new people. Maybe you just need to be a little bit more confident about yourself!
alin123 0
woooooooooooow!! thats sad maby you need to lower your standards for dateing?
aeliz 0
There's no way that you haven't had ANY chance for a date since 1992. You must just be really picky. So you can't say you're desperate if you haven't tried out any options. I know I'm assuming, but honestly, how is that even possible? Unless you are a widow... hmm...
GuitarDude1996 0
92???? thats before i was born!!! poor guy
taycandy96 2
Same here!!! 1996 pwns!!!
Freeze_fml 17
You both have shamed 96 with your unnecessary use of multiple exclamation and question marks.
strandedinalimo 0
My god you people are young!
redbluegreen 41
Wow I feel old. 1996? Christ. Just wait till people are proud of being born in 2000.
aeliz 0
I am 20, born in 89. That people on this website were born in 1996 scares me a little lol.
Dismissal 4
I was born in '95, so I am approved of, right?
lgs25 0
110 ur cute