Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
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Top comments
Serene_fml 0
1992? Holy crap, that's almost as long as my age.
meshell_10 0
Whoa time for eharmony!
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Comments (110)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
@Mercy - You obviously haven't been to Armenia, have you?
aardvarkish 17
Dude+that%27s+ridiculous.+%0AYou+should+be+enjoying+you%27re+freedom
CallMeHush 1
They+all+dress+like+Dr.+Frankenfurter.
Schazam 0
Get+a+dog
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
@Mercy - Take a look at/listen to System of a Down and I guess you'll understand why. @CMH - ... you're right. I'm sorry if I brought back painful memories. Did they ever find your missing third leg?
CallMeHush 1
Yes BSR, it has been reattached. I am now a tripod!
Fminetoo 0
OP, may I suggest www.positivesingles.com? Your bound to find somebody special from that site, even if they come with something extra. : P
MermaidSongXOXO 6
OP, while you're at it why don't you make up an engagement and in a few months post photoshopped wedding photos? Maybe in a year or two you can post about the pitter-patter of tiny little feet. And then a few years after that, you can post about little Jane's first day of Kindergarten. Heck, you could talk about how your fabulous career is taking off, too.
jayde214 0
lol that's hilarious. but rude. I feel bad for the OP
Deelovesu 0
i dnt get it...
ohSNAPyall 27
Don't be that person, OP. Drama, drama. Ask friends to set you up, try a dating website (plentyoffish is free) or if you're really willing to put yourself out there, post on facebook that you're looking to be set up. If you say you're in a relationship after so long of being single, you'll get a lot of attention from people who want pictures or to double date. They'll figure out that you're lying, and then you'd really look desperate.