Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed my new boyfriend barely touches me casually, unless I initiate, and even then he’ll pull away fairly quickly. Apparently his dad told him about "fake rape accusations", even from women you’re dating, so he’s scared to touch me now. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend is physically affectionate with me is when he wants to have sex. When I suggested we just cuddle, he looked at me and said, "What’s the point in that?" FML
Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML
Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic affection like hugging and kissing. His response? "Oh." FML
Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
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Top comments
Omg_its_Chloe 6
Can't touch this lol. Sorry, had to :)
LeapOfFaith 8
Break up with him and say it was purely accidental.
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Comments (189)
perdix 31
When you get married everything will get better. All you have to do is tell him how and when to touch you, and he will immediately do it. Men love to change, especially when ordered to do so by their wives. If you put on about 40 lbs and stop wearing make-up, he'll be even more eager to please you.
MrsUresti 8
Wtf???? So wrong in my opinion
MrsUresti 8
If his like that now he will never change once their married. She should get out now if she's not happy!!!!
perdix 31
You totally missed my sarcasm! Good thing you are hot -- it's hard to go through life ugly AND stupid.
MrsUresti 8
Hahahahaha hahahahaha oppsss i totally got it afterwards but I have no idea how to erase the comment from my dam iPod. I apologize :))
perdix 31
It's OK, and I should apologize. I was too harsh on you. Please forgive me. ^This is sincere, not sarcasm. :D
MrsUresti 8
Apology accepted :))
Jennielee 6
Oh that was hilarious. I especially enjoyed you noting that you were not being sarcastic the second time since she obviously can not detect the blatant sarcasm in the first post.
massagenist 0
I would hate to be an ugly girl. u gotta go thru the monthly girl issues and gotta deal with being ugly. And if your stupid it makes life hard. Me thinks.
wvgirl1 4
Ya mine did that and we got married now a days I'm a piece of ass to him and it's going down hill quick. I'd have a chat with ur other and see if u can work at something. Maybe there just shy like that. Keep ur head up
NateSkye 3
Accidentally slap him when he wants a piece of the cookie?
kristidgranger 3
Well you better make sure that's something your going to either be happy with the rest of your life or except. If its like that now it will continue to be that way after marriage.
NoxiousNorwegian 5
Heh.... Mines completely opposite. So sad.
Greendaycheese 12
Punch him. It would be purely accidental. :)
MrsUresti 8
That sucks :(
mrssuarez2011 12
That's not normal, please please rethink your engagement, and go find a real man.
Devor 5
That suks, touch him and touch him hard!
aliciab394 5
He must want to have sex a lot then. Lol