zstarr
Rome, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Ananimus
Peekskill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
dumblonde78
🌶️ Spicy
Whatever works
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Protip
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Nicole
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gift of the gab
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
SickofhisBs
🌶️ Spicy
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
a.baybay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
hannieannie
Oxford, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
xenutja
Amery, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hate sex
Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML
Top comments
ollie179 21
"And then Danielle actually had the cheek to call me a bitch in front of the whole salon whilst having my hair conditioned and..." That's nice, bend over baby.
bubba1177 1
Stop talking
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Comments (168)
bubba1177 1
Stop talking
zolziski 11
This is terrible advice. Don't stop talking or you might just stop having sex!
Trisha_aus 15
I first thought it was the other way around..but I doubt that happens when you are in the bathroom chatting away..or a public place
Aug1508 9
The sex should be appreciated. Some people don't get any, or are stuck using their hands.
Skywalkaz 0
Then you know exactly how to get sex. Horny? Talktalktalktalk
Abdul888 16
#43 exactly, this's the biggest problem, being stuck using my hand :((
MrBrightside21 20
#61 - This is not the biggest problem. It's that we can't "talk" to females without our face turning red, then babbling words, then apologizing for no reason, then running off awkwardly... Just me? Sorry... *runs off awkwardly*
KrazieKleo 13
78- I'm with you too.... Forever alone or as another poster on another FML said,"forever available." lol
HiIAmKevin 8
Doesn't matter had sex.
99megster 15
111- your picture is hilarious!
Khariau 8
Oral sex as a goab stopper ?
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Oral sex I'm guessing.
TatMan15 10
Hopefully the sex is good
yoyoyolol08 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Even if it is, its time to break up and plot his murder
lopsop 12
What? Just because op might talk to much doesn't mean she should kill her boyfriend.
yoyoyolol08 5
Yes. It is time for his death. He is a very shallow man
22cute 17
Well, I'm sure it's embarrassing & frustrating since you thought he was listening to you ....but, in the grand scheme of things...if you enjoy the sex you could just go with it. There are MUCH worse ways your man could try to shut you up. Men just don't bond by talking as much as women do. Before you give up on him - why not get HIM to talk about it? Maybe you two could agree that he can seduce you when he's had all the talk he can handle and maybe you could have a simple signal that says, "I really want you to understand this one point." He clearly cares about you. But women often need talk to clarify what they really think & feel. Some of that can be done with your female friends..or you can give him permission to half listen till you figure out what your real point is.
iTransform 8
62- you are a very insane person O_o
thatnucca 36
I guess some things work in reverse: good sex makes the loudmouths quiet, and the quiet ones loud... Interesting!
scottsteiner 1
he could mean open your mouth for the right reasons
scottsteiner 1
he could mean open your mouth for the right reasons
VitalDisplayII 0
lmaooo I feel ur boyfriends pain
Forlorn420 9
Preach it brutha haha
OhDearBetrayal 25
The women of the world frown in disapproval at you two.
flockz 20
and the Grammar Nazis.
toenibbler 14
And the majority of males everywhere
zachherbert 10
And the gnomes
Bonzer 2
And everybody else.
uJelly24 1
How can feeling someone's pain be funny?lmaooooooooooo -_-
Bonzer 2
121- He wasn't laughing because he felt his pain, he was laughing because he was making fun of women who talk too much. Which is why he got buried.
uJelly24 1
Oh,right.i didn't consider that before.
UnionsSuck 5
Well sounds like a win win you both get sex and you stop talking ?
ydi_4_suking 20
The boyfriend gets an extra bonus there he gets sex and the no talking
SamanthaCassieL 10
This is a genius plan!! I'm a girl and I know that would work on me if my boyfriend and I had this problem. Haha this is awesome! Girl, enjoy the sex! Sex is great!
infaith 5
-57 I came to the conclusion your probably a virgin...
nado13579 12
Must... Resist... Correcting grammar...
lexi365 20
#98 Nothing wrong with waiting but with your comment, I agree.
jizzwold 21
Well she is 22 so...
KBeatz 5
Why talk when you can yell? I guess that's his theory.
Arthurie 30
Well, atleast he gives you sex, unlike another FML.. Right?
ollie179 21
"And then Danielle actually had the cheek to call me a bitch in front of the whole salon whilst having my hair conditioned and..." That's nice, bend over baby.
witchdoctor1 9
^ best comment on a fml I've ever seen XD
lifesucksfmll 5
Win
DKjazz 20
That's pretty much standard protocol.
porcupineattack1 5
Wow, what a healthy relationship!
Jordan740 6
It's better than using duct tape.
Judahsh 8
Nothing is better than dict tape
SkoomaKi 28
You're getting pleasure too, so it's a win win situation. If you really want to talk to him just incorporate your serious discussions with dirty talk in the bedroom. A little something like: "Oh god your dick is so big, just like the numbers on our bills..."
GawD615 5
Lmao that's a good one..
HelloGuys 4
Or... Your dick is too small, just like this house???..
zstarr 11
That's hilarious! Good plan. XD