Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I'm on a diet. I was compelled to start it when the only pet name my boyfriend could think of for me yesterday was, "My baby elephant." FML
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Top comments
climbthoserocks 6
pita?
sourgirl101 29
I thought "pita" was a type of bread. Now it means pain in the ass? I will never be able to eat my gyros the same way.(:
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Comments (174)
climbthoserocks 6
pita?
Fortuitous 0
God damn those rocks.
sourgirl101 29
I thought "pita" was a type of bread. Now it means pain in the ass? I will never be able to eat my gyros the same way.(:
Fortuitous 0
Whenever the boyfriend eats pita bread, he gets a pain in his ass. So, he applied the same concept to his girlfriend. Although I don't see how that would give you ass pains.
rallets 23
he called you PITA and you never questioned it?
doctor_itsmylife 3
and u thought it was the slang for dick, right?
mike3775 39
Man even my youngest kids knows what pita means, as they say that instead of saying the actual words
DomoCullen 0
lol
nateb1tch 1
that my cats name
ImaginaryFoe 1
What does pita have to do with Mexicans?!
laurabelle 0
why pita? WTF…
beyondbirthdayv 0
in mexico dick is called pito so pita is like dicka or something like that hard to explan -.-"
therealsuperman 0
^ haha you mean puta? that doesn't mean dick...
Luke1717 0
32 I think ur thinking of "pitta" bread
chenoa_fml 0
lol pita has been my nickname growing up, sort of short for my middle name.. hahahah!
fakeaccountX 6
Pain in the....arm? It's okay baby you don't have to censor anything on here.
Markii10 0
Actually he said PITO, not PUTA.
EffinAhole 0
I thought pinga was Spanish for dick
lyn29 0
and i thought pene was spanish for dick :S im confused now lmao
mitri_fml 3
frakin capitalists trying to talk Spanish
HomeAl0ne 20
No, he was calling her "hemorrhoid" all this time.
ericownz101 0
omfg a bunch of gringos here.. peto is penis. pinocha is ******. puta is bitch. i have spoken >.>
RageKage 0
******* ******* who say frak.
lyn29 0
no puta is **** pene is dick and polla is pussy -.- i ve been learning spanish for many years now .. i think i know ...
katjafro 3
haha ya that's what my stepdad calls me!
Asoman 3
what did he call you?
whoisthisgirl 4
seriously who doesn't know what pita means... I knew that when I was like 8...
jamieisreallymad 0
your picture is epic!
scvcwcheer 0
my coach nicknamed a girl on our team pita a couple years ago
moosemonkey1000 6
fascinating.
miraggg 1
smart man
YoungMoney1492 0
anal is tight lol literally
BadKitty13 28
Hehehehehehe ! P.I.T.A. ~~~~~~ (that's a FML ?) Well my family always calls me Chia Pet......
hobojo11 0
cha cha cha chea
EmreArslan 11
Crushing head into arse? Random guess
YoungMoney1492 0
u deserve it for having a "pet name"
77taylah33 0
heaps of people have pet names in relationships it's cute
supadreads 0
WTF...
hannahbrooke_14 0
me & my boyfriend have pet names. lol im hannah bear & he's matty poo
mfmylifesrsly 30
rofl! thats hilarious, but, time to dump the SOB
NancyDeebensDPDS 0
love, may I ask what SOB is?
petergurll 0
son of a bitch
Colonel_256 0
I guess SOB should be his pet name
Agility_fml 0
9, that'd be a pretty bitch move.
chendrew 0
I like it
DrAwesome 6
I bet you don't even care for animals either.
skorpien 1
Almost, except for the fact that it's PETA with an E. You should've made a pun about the bread instead.
DrAwesome 6
Ouch. Never thought I'd be thumbed down this much for making a joke that someone didn't think was relevant. Lighten up?
jakeisawake 3
#110, Haha. Making a comment like that won't get you sympathy. Now people may just give you more thumbs down just because they can.
DrAwesome 6
Hahaha, I'm not looking for sympathy! I'm just generally confused. lofl.
Rawaha 0
haha ****** loser!!