Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I'm on a diet. I was compelled to start it when the only pet name my boyfriend could think of for me yesterday was, "My baby elephant." FML
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Top comments
climbthoserocks 6
pita?
sourgirl101 29
I thought "pita" was a type of bread. Now it means pain in the ass? I will never be able to eat my gyros the same way.(:
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Comments (174)
perdix 31
No, he called you "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals." Or a kind of bread to eat hummus with. . .
doink 0
The latter totally pwns the former.
DoorMatCat 3
bravo.
crazysmurfette 6
"PETA" wouldn't work, genius. Pain in the ass-PITA. It's "in", not "en". DERRRR.
rockefoe 6
PITA? like bread?
BeastNerd 3
#14, Yes. He was calling her a stupid, stale piece of bread.
Cinn_fml 23
Simple solution; ask him what 'caused him to decide that, so you can improve. He's chosen to stay with you even though you annoy him. Either that or he's just kidding around.
FMLYAY 0
Ew logical comments on FML.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Hey, I occasionally call my boyfriend a pain in the ass. He knows I'm joking.
Cinn_fml 23
I did say he might be joking! And I'll use logic as much as I like.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I'm amused with how quickly that comment was buried.
charlesnk7 0
ur a retard
Fortuitous 0
Yup, keeping thinking that, bro. That definitely makes total sense. I am with you 100%. I especially like how you purposely typed like a babbling idiot to reinforce your message. Or you actually are a clueless dimwit with 92% of his brain up his ass. My money's on the latter, you sick piece of powdered dung.
Cinn_fml 23
Seriously, what's wrong with the 'yo' from the word? That's like two extra letters to type, it's not difficult.
Cinn_fml 23
Ah, crap, I missed the e (and technically an apostrophe). Pretend it was in that last comment.
ohthebloodygore 16
I really truly do hate the comment bug. Steph, you're a pain in my arse. Cinn, you are completely right. Two letters doesn't make much of a difference. 40, ur an idiot.
Fortuitous 0
lolololololololol Grammar Nazi fail! ohemgee im the shit i corrected a grammar nazi! he-he-he-he-he-he xP
Cinn_fml 23
I didn't fail, I did it on purpose because Zeb (I think) wanted to see me use the incorrect form of your/you're.... *looks around a little shiftily* I think I got away with that. :P
Fortuitous 0
Oh. Well I was just joking (or trying to) around with Bloody Gore, but it seems as though you have gotten away with it!
Cinn_fml 23
Tbf my last comment was supposed to be me trying to talk my way out of a fail, and yeah, I knew you were joking. I was joking along as well, I mean, if I'm going to fail, I'm going to get a laugh out of it as well.
Zebidee 9
Muah ha ha ha! My work on FML is done.
captian926 0
I like your opinion/thinking.
randall_doak 4
Hell yeah #22, logic is what this website needs, instead of ignorant retards thinkin what they post is funny or clever.
sloppyflow 1
#17 it's good to have some logical comment. it gives a little break. day-em irrelevant and retarded humor comments has gotten overwhelmed.
Draminicaus 0
Logic is sexy. lol I'm just saiyan. :)
Doortje 30
De pita madre.
Doortje 30
What was wrong with this comment?
serena_demaio 2
fantastic!
Lisa89 3
well ask him why he's called you that... what makes you a 'pain in the ass' and try and improve on that...
milou_fml 6
Did he use spiffy pick up lines like, "I totally want you with my gyro"
mifi97 0
lololol
Zmeilerr 22
Well stop giving him anal then
earblast 0
puta is ***** in spanish ROFL
flamegrilled123 3
wtf?
77taylah33 0
makes you wonder what sweetie and hunny means!!?