Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML
Today, I figured out my girlfriend's mother has various nicknames for me. My girlfriend and her family are from Poland and speak on the phone in their native tongue, but they don’t know I’ve been learning the language either. I heard her call me “idiot”, “loser”, “moron” and various other “nicknames” multiple times. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, my mother who learned English as an adult sent an email to my boss, thanking them for hiring me even though I'm "retarded." I’m a law school graduate who was diagnosed with a minor learning disability in kindergarten, but she still calls me "retarded" when speaking English. FML
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
Today, I discovered that my cool, unique first name translates to "unwanted" in Hindi. Both my parents studied abroad in India for five years. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Mother knows best?
DocBastard 40
Better than "Big Retard", I suppose.
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Comments (124)
IllestRated 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You don't know Chinese?
Rinat_fml 26
Chinese women can be such rude beings :/
katieemerr 15
Not fair OP. You weren't to know.. I'd learn a different language and find an offensive phrase to call your mother!
ChenEighty 20
Already thread-jacking 9? The comments haven't even reached the second page yet!!
ihatecheesepizza 6
.
jojimugo 20
#8 that's your mother
LunaaBluee 27
And that was her child...but that didn't stop her.
TunaFireStarter 16
Not all children learn the language their parents speak. I never really learned Chinese even though my grandparents and mom speak it.
spignona84 11
Adoption
brenton490 19
The best way at getting even is learning some of the language, and letting her know by replying back in Chinese. I did that to in my Japanese class since I was only taking the class for an easy grade.
fortune789 17
It's better than "********," which is what my friend's grandfather called her in mandarin until she figured it out.
htownpostman 16
How is "Japanese class" taken for an easy grade? If you're gonna lie, mKe up a better response.
Harpy20 24
113, if you already speak the language or at least have a decent grasp of it it can be done. I did the same thing with French.
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
That's gotta suck OP
mistertbawk420 10
Really?
rocker_chick105 31
Here? On FML? Gee, never would've guessed...
gjikvtj 18
He got 2nd comment though right
teotsi 28
But at what cost?
Mobius638 8
Us thinking there a retard.
thomcmoore 23
Mother knows best?
rocker_chick105 31
I started singing Mother Knows Best from Tangled after I read this.
ohSNAPyall 27
I started singing "Mother's Little Helper" from the Rolling Stones.
htownpostman 16
I started singing "I like Chinese"... Nah, not really but I thought if the song after you other 2 singers.. Go on.. Google it...
icnburbbygrl 23
That's adorable 'huge hint of sarcasm'
ChristianH39 30
Maybe the translations a little harsh and it's just a slightly condescending term of endearment?
dragonkisses28 25
Hmm, my grandma's loving nickname for me was "gorda." She assumed that since I don't speak Spanish I couldn't understand it either. It means "fat" for all my fellow non Spanish speakers. Fyl OP.
randombaxer1 11
As someone who's spent half their life in China, not a single word in any of the major Chinese languages translate to retard.
baseballbv 17
What a cruel world you live in. Call her something in a different language. Even if it's made up.
mistertbawk420 10
Yeah that'll show her!
hxnnxh 14
#22 the display picture, oh the display picture
ChenEighty 20
I'm sure I'd've made any attempt to find out what my mother has been calling me long before it's FML worthy. But either way, most Roman names were basically insults as well. I believe the most common roman name translated to "pea brained"
PresidentNorth 16
i'd've? is that really allowed.? i need a grammar Nazi pronto to actually tell me if this is real.
GentlemanBastard 15
Nein! Double apostrophe VERBOTEN!
kirbo2 21
My name is Cameron and it means Crooked Nose
Adam5858 17
She has a good sense of humour OP you are lucky even though it's an odd nickname
DocBastard 40
Better than "Big Retard", I suppose.
Raidriar 14
Doc, this is unrelated, but how is your wife doing?
cdalton 12
It's the thought that counts.
silvercamaro 22
I mean..I'm not sure how much thought OP's mom really had to put into that nickname
shudson186 17
Awwww, that's Motherly love right there. :)