Today, I'm on a diet. I was compelled to start it when the only pet name my boyfriend could think of for me yesterday was, "My baby elephant." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I was teaching my one year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of a pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, dieting is making me depressed and I'm so hungry. I don't even care about losing weight, but my boyfriend is and he's doing a low fat diet with me for my health, so I'm going to do the low calorie thing with him. I also feel like I'm not doing well enough in the gym and it's hurting so bad. FML
Today, after 3 months of my man claiming he's going to start eating better "next week", he finally went on a diet. What changed? I started eating healthy while trying for a baby. He is "supporting me" by getting me to do extra meal prep for him too. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
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Top comments
Ashamed_Sister 60
Since you're a man he could have tried to compliment you for your elephant-like trunk...
manb91gb 15
****! You beat me to it!
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Comments (6)
Ashamed_Sister 60
Since you're a man he could have tried to compliment you for your elephant-like trunk...
manb91gb 15
****! You beat me to it!
elle0000 13
Could be worse, he could have said “my white elephant”
mfranks19891989 10
Hi baby Elephant!
JackWood 21
You should have said "That's Daddy elephant to you!"