Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
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Top comments
killersteve 0
That is horrible. I truly feel really bad for you. If you leave him (which is more likely at the moment) I hope that you remember that not all guys are like that.
waffles_128 0
wow that really sucks if you do split up, get custody someone who's gonna get drunk enough to puke in that kind of situation shouldn't have supervision of a child
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Comments (83)
Jaxro 6
Haha #23
Jaxro 6
haha 23.
TryToBeKind 0
I.would.be.pissed. But sure, suggesting doing something 'different' is a good idea, as the person who suggested all the outdoors sports did. Men (in general) tend to communicate better while they're doing things, while women want to talk face-to-face with little to no distractions. (Course, women are great multi-taskers but they [generally] do that to save time - serious convos? top priority). I think the restaurant is a good idea - it's public enough to where you can't act like a jackass if you don't like what the other person has to say and it's got enough people to where they're all concentrating on their OWN convos and not eavesdropping on yours. I learned the hard way that some super-private place translates into 'let's ****' or 'no one will hear you scream'. I've learned that some ac tivity being done gives room for the excuse, 'let's just enjoy teh evening'. Tell them NOW? When you're emotional and all that? Not really right, they'll want t come back ag ain, and again, and a again later. If you thought it out - you're ready and they're not and they're cornered and defensive. It's a hard balance to make. Sounds like OP at least meant well and maybe next time it should be some alcohol-free but relaxed place where they can actually talk. Going for walks works for me. *shrugs*
Makave22 0
Wow sorry to hear, but you should divorce girl.
EGS830 0
When you go out next time, avoid any alcohol intake.
Ox_Baker 0
This is such bullshit. If that guy had been fat instead of an alcoholic, half the people here would be saying that it was because of his parents or something. Alcoholism, like obesity, is a disease. If you don't treat it, you're not going to get better.
balanceMMX 0
"...and work on our failing marriage... He got drunk and puked on me." those things seem to fit together... funny how that is. he'll never change, get rid of him before he wastes more of your life. I can't stand drunks.
xxsarxx 0
#37-Just because he drank too much and vomitted doesn't mean he is an alcoholic. A lot of people just drink too much and vomit, shit (or in this case vomit) happens. That really sucks that he vomitted on you, but good for you for trying to fix your marriage, at least you tried to do something nice lol. As someone else said...maybe if you guys go out again, take him somewhere, where theres no alcohol. Just incase.
YNasty 0
if you want you can go out with me and i'll get drunk and act a fool and then you can appreciate your husband more...$1000 dollars plus you buy the drinks and I'm game
roachspray 0
Sounds like you guys need marriage counseling instead of a night out on the town. That's not what made your marriage work in the first place, it's not going to fix it now.