Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
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Top comments
killersteve 0
That is horrible. I truly feel really bad for you. If you leave him (which is more likely at the moment) I hope that you remember that not all guys are like that.
waffles_128 0
wow that really sucks if you do split up, get custody someone who's gonna get drunk enough to puke in that kind of situation shouldn't have supervision of a child
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Comments (83)
pwnrzero 0
how'd he get drunk, u go to a bar or a restaurant that serves wine, and he drinks 3-4 glasses seriously, YDI
uberkrissy 0
WTF? It was typed like it would be funny. I was hopeful. It really wasn't. This is boring.
free_Aus 0
Maybe her husband is just a drunk. And that could be a contributing factor to the state of the marriage. As for #4. Get a life. My sex life has never been better and I have 2 kids.
Jaywin 3
So...did the night help the marriage or no?
AsianGuy 2
weak..
wandaax03 0
Most people I know get that drunk to make their problems go away.. There's many ways to interpret that. Either way, that sucks. Doesn't seem like he's making too much effort to fix your relationship.
tiltwrestler 0
Wow, yeah that was pretty bad. However, some people are ridiculous- why would anybody divorce their SPOUSE because of 1 night of being drunk? Not to mention that she probably should have *nicely* hinted that *maybe* he should have stopped drinking after a certain point... hmm?? So yeah, it was a bad night, but not something to divorce after. I've had a girl who i only dated for 4 months or so (at the time) throw up in front of me- i didnt break up with her cuz of it! I just kind of went "ew", drove her to my house, cleaned her up, and helped her get to sleep. then the next day i just kind of joked about it, and told her about what happened- i didnt like hold it against her tho, or anything!! she was already embarrassed enough as it is! and im sure the girls husband feels the same way.
Gringo_fml 0
Haha... ******.
jessxoxo28 5
gross!!! soem husband!!!!
FreedomFirst 0
I'm sorry. I almost feel your pain - but I haven't actually been puked on.