Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
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Top comments
time4coffee 3
YDI should have dumped him after the restaurant.
heyred 11
This sounds suspiciously like the 80's movie, "Blind Date."
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Comments (52)
funnyman95 0
Was it your FIRST date?
Elamdri 0
It says first date in the first sentence.
nazooer 11
No, it says one of his first dates. How many first dates do you get, OP?
ImaginaryFoe 1
I think #1 meant first date ever. Funnyman, I don't think it was since he says "one of the worst first dates" of his life.
iSwag 0
the point of #1's post was to announce his 'firstness'. notice the capital letters. not as much of a win as mushoo but nice try
inconvienentgurl 0
To all of you who keep saying "his"...uhm the O.P. is a WOMAN. @ 21....huh?? @ O.P. At least you know what not to look for in a guy, right? Sorry your date was so bad though.
sweetheart1 0
awh your so cute iswag lol
thundercats29 0
Lol lied about it? "Whats that?" "I dunno" "How did it get there?" "A guy came in, and he puke in your car!"
funnyman95 0
Yes, yes #19 is correct! Good job 19... You've now earned my friendship for an entire lifetime. CONGRATS!!!
iSwag 0
@ 30 lol thanks :) @ 29 even though that comment cost you a middle finger it still made me laugh and for that u thank you lol @ funnyman thanks...but seeing as how nobody before me noticed perhaps it was a bigger win than I thought...kudos bro
omgitsdomonique 0
sucks for you! (enter number of the numerical order I'm under)
dreamer15 0
ew that's disgusting I hope you at least tookhim home though
MQ_was_here 0
I can't believe you would want IT in your car after what it just did. *sigh*
Secret_Fire_King 0
OP could have put out.. Just 'cause she just had the worst first date ever, doesn't mean her date can't have the best.. ;-)
tsoccerdude 0
r u gay fire king
Sirin_fml 47
r u 1nc4p4bl3 0v sp3ll1ng ts0cc3rdood?!?!!111!11!!!!!!!11111
redshortsx 0
yeah seriously dude look at your pic
Secret_Fire_King 0
nah, I'm heterosexual.. Why do you ask soccerdude? If it's for the reason I think: I'm sorry, I'm not the slightest bit interested.. XD redshorts might be up for it, though.. xD
heyred 11
This sounds suspiciously like the 80's movie, "Blind Date."
EllyH 0
Why do you drive home bad first dates? don't do that :)
time4coffee 3
YDI should have dumped him after the restaurant.
MQ_was_here 0
Wahi^^
MQ_was_here 0
Oh shoot, I just realized I wrote that in Urdu. What I meant to say was "Exactly". LOL. Ahem.
ImaginaryFoe 1
OP is a man and apparently a gentleman. YDBetter.
iSwag 0
@ MQ: nice shoes...I bet you look VERY GOOD in those :-)
KayBizz 0
^ bet she's ugly. ur gonna regret that comment
MQ_was_here 0
@ iSwag: lol, thank you. =) and as for #29: *insert middle finger* Good day.
MQ_was_here 0
Okay, why am I feeding the picture-less troll?Carry on, mofo!
Scourge87 0
I gather there won't be a second date ? I mean, even if he was screwing up because he was too nervous (something I could relate to) it sounds like he couldn't do sh*t straight with a ruler. Not a cool way to end up a night really, in any circumstances.
imzdrummer 0
you should go out with him again jk lol
iamchuck 0
Similar to my first date with the girl that is now my wife.