Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
What just happened?
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Top comments
nguido731 3
Dude that sucks. Sometimes you're just at the wrong place at the wrong time
energizerbunny23 18
That's pretty unlucky
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
energizerbunny23 18
That's pretty unlucky
sweetbliss3 37
bitches be trippin'. too bad they wouldnt let you explain the situation.
fortune789 17
I wonder if his name is Bryan...
nguido731 3
Dude that sucks. Sometimes you're just at the wrong place at the wrong time
persianninja 23
you win some you lose some
nix1993 41
At the same time, even if a guy grabbed my ass when I didn't want him to I usually just ignore it, the most I would do is tell him to **** the hell off. This girl hugely overreacted. Why do so many girls nowadays think it's perfectly acceptable to just start slapping people? All these girls want equality? Don't think you can hit guys when you know damn well they won't hit you back, it's deplorable.
doemetoch 28
I consider ass-grabbing or other forms of uncalled for harrassment a perfectly good reason for a slap! Making sure you slap the right person is somewhat crucial though.
kingdomgirl94 29
Yeah, if you just put up with it, people will go on thinking that groping strangers is okay. If someone grabbed my ass (I don't go out clubbing or anything and my bf is terrifying, so its never happened to me) I'd turn around and clean their clock. No one touches me without my permission. Shit like that escalates. First its grabbing woman's asses, then ****, then eventually the prick is trying to force sex on someone. The kind of men who don't respect women and personal boundaries are the kind that can turn into rapists.
SkyGuy32 17
So call him out, but don't assault him.
shak1273 2
#35 - I'm not gonna let some asshole grab me if I don't want to. The girl in the FML hit the wrong person, but it's perfectly okay to defend yourself. It's not "deplorable" to fight back against being assaulted, and you know what? They don't want me to hit them? Then don't grab my ass!
coute21 6
If a stranger intentionally touches me without my permission, whether it's a grope or a push or whatever I'm going to warn them once. If they do it again, the gloves are off. I've been in a situation where I've warned a person to stop touching me multiple times and it only escalated until they really hurt me and then they ran off at top speed while I was in pain. Not doing that again. One warning is all anyone gets from now on.
Crofty92 17
If, as a male, a female grabbed my arse and I slapped her across the face, I would still be in the wrong. Surely that is a double standard.
kingdomgirl94 29
There is a double standard, but that's only because its actually really scary to be harassed by a man, where as most men don't feel threatened by women. I'm not saying its acceptable at all, of course its not, but I'm saying its hard to say that a man groping a woman and a woman groping a man are the same under typical circumstances.
Jacqui_Meowth 11
Why is it only scary if it's a male harassing a female? I've known men to be in horrifying domestic abuse situations and they are scared. Men can get scared and it can be caused by a female, there is NOTHING wrong with that.
nix1993 41
#50 that's exactly my point. There are other ways of dealing with it. If you feel the need to be physical, push him away and make it clear he was out of line. Shout at him, scream at him, throw a drink at him! Whatever, but don't do anything that would be unacceptable if the roles were reversed. Not to mention not all ass-grabs are malicious, my boyfriend once grabbed a girls ass in a club thinking it was me, because we were wearing the same colours and had very similar hair, she turned round and went to hit him and he caught her arm to stop her and attempt to explain what happened, and all of this girls friends went absolutely batshit crazy and started basically attacking him because he was 'physically assaulting her' by preventing her from slapping him...? Too many women jump straight into hitting a guy that crosses the line, and i'm sorry but that's completely wrong. If he is genuinely harassing you then yeah, do what you can to get rid of him, but one ass grab is NOT harassment, harassment is defined as being aggressive, and that is not aggressive. You should NEVER hit someone if for any reason they can't or won't hit you back. If you ever feel justified in hitting someone in the face you better be prepared to get one back.
Queenie2014 11
So you think girls should just let guys grope them?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think if a girl hits a guy (not necessarily in this sort of situation but maybe in a domestic abuse type scenario) the guy should most certainly be able to use self defense to get away. Not just sit there and take it because "Real men don't hit women." That's BS because real PEOPLE don't hit other people except in self defense, it shouldn't be an issue. Just my two cents. :)
winchestinalock 21
one day you'll look back and laugh at it...one day
Shmatterhorn 38
But today is not that day,. Nor will it be for the near future.
sanjana_378 7
umm didnt u like try xplaining
GDragonsSwag 21
Umm, didn't you try going to school?
silvercamaro 22
It seems like the situation happened way too fast for anything to be explained
Xquisite1 28
So, after she slapped you OP, did you choose to turn the other cheek?
rdenkewicz 11
He didn't and unfortunately neither did she!
EuphoricSadness 18
Really sucks that this happened to you, but then it wouldn't really be an FML.
SgtAssCheeks 21
Happens so often in nightclubs, you just fell on a REALLY unlucky situation, don't you worry. Only thing you can do is try to dissimulate yourself in the crowd and dance.
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Wrong place, wrong time. Could've thought about chewing the other guy out for being a prick but it seems like you didn't have much of a chance for anything. Sorry OP!
Tthug 34
It's all about confidence. Judging from OP's name he probably doesn't go out very often. You just gotta learn how to act, because it sounds like he was creeping out the people around him.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Yes, because the OP clearly is at fault here.
markcallanan_ 20
Just tell her it wasn't you.
Grauncho 27
A bit late for that now, isn't it?
laden_swallow09 35
Besides, it sounds like she's one of those bitches who doesn't shut up or let things go.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
girls at clubs are asking for it when they dress like ATTENTION (blank).
doemetoch 28
Because putting on something that makes you feel pretty and feminine is basically the same as walking around with a sign saying "PLEASE TOUCH MY ASS". Yep, makes sense. (Also, did you notice how the FML said absolutely nothing about how the girl looked?)
Shmatterhorn 38
Dude, either that was sarcasm or you are incredibly stupid. Women dressing in a certain way does not mean that they are asking for trouble.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
So when guys are shirtless at the beach they are asking for sexual harassment/assault?
laden_swallow09 35
28- Nope. Shirtless anywhere else? Ehhh…
OysterPearls 33
14, you disgust me. Stating that they are "asking for" sexual harassment? What's next, defending rapists on the grounds of the victim's clothing? No matter what someone wears, how much they drank, how many sexual partners they've had, et cetera, No one is ever asking for it. EVER.