Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today I woke up to myself (24F) accidentally losing control of my bowels in bed. I’m not sick, just a food intolerance. The worst part is that my fiancé was sound asleep next to me and I had to wake him up to tell him what happened so I could wash the sheets and bed at one in the morning. He's is now sleeping on the couch. FML
Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML
Today, I woke up at my brother-in-law's house in the middle of the night to discover I had a watery shit in my underwear. I thought I was safe because had on a Depends, I wasn’t and had to change my sweatpants too. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I was soaked. The night before, I'd felt cramps so I was convinced it was my period… until I realized that my cat had marked his territory on me. All my sheets and blankets had to be removed. Yup, soaked right through! FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
cutcut1 10
The biggest fml here is that you can’t tell your HUSBAND you shit yourself. Honestly. I have IBS so my boyfriend learns waaay too much about my bathroom habits, how can you be uncomfortable about that with a guy you literally signed a contract to spend the rest of your life with? Sad.
blightsight 10
Yeah right. like he wouldn't have smelled shit
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Comments (8)
blightsight 10
Yeah right. like he wouldn't have smelled shit
Emma Marshall 19
I'm sure he didn't sniff the stain 😐
blightsight 10
Of course not. He would have smelled what caused that stain.
Glowworm56 27
Yeah, because starting your period is less humiliating than diarrhea. Not a very good excuse.
cutcut1 10
How the hell is starting your period anywhere near as embarrassing as ******** yourself?
raven_of_azarath 35
Starting your period is natural and happens every month. ******** yourself typically stops around the age of 5.
Glowworm56 27
I always felt embarrassed when I left blood behind in the bathroom where the rest of my family could possibly see it--or stain a couch or chair. I just don't think either stain is better, and guys generally don't want to hear all the details about periods so I figured he'd be more grossed out by the period blood than the shit stains.
Rabite 28
FYL for apparently having people around you making you feel embarrassed about a totally normal bodily function. Knowing how periods work and that stains happen is not equal to knowing every detail. And I guess being her husband and all he must have noticed the inevitable stains when doing the laundry.
cutcut1 10
The biggest fml here is that you can’t tell your HUSBAND you shit yourself. Honestly. I have IBS so my boyfriend learns waaay too much about my bathroom habits, how can you be uncomfortable about that with a guy you literally signed a contract to spend the rest of your life with? Sad.
Charlie Given 28
You should be honest regardless of embarrassment he is your husband there shouldn't be any embarrassment,if he's a real man he'll politely help out and clean up, trust is key,and as u get old or if you're like me and have a Digestive Disease ******** yourself becomes commonplace😅😵😏
Nick Bornhoft 4
"honey, what is that spot in the sheets?" "uhhh....I started my period" "but it's brown..."
DiscomfortZone 7
Wow. You can't talk to your husband. That's just sad for you.
Quasita 26
I guess I'm the odd one out because I understand. I don't think two people are automatically "poop comfy" because they got married. Sometimes it takes a little while, especially if they only recently started living together. I moved in with my boyfriend in May, we've been together for 3 years, and I'm acutely aware of certain bodily functions and habits that he wasn't exposed to until we moved in together. It's completely normal to need to grow into the intimacy of sharing the details of bodily functions and for couples to not share every single detail straight out the gate.
Hangryko 32
Great, now that's a new fear I have.