Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML
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Top comments
YOUNGSMUTTY 0
That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.
shortandloud 0
That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.
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Comments (360)
lifeisfuckedup 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
how cute. 2 years and no sex.
epicfail13337 4
Maybe they started dating when they were very young... anyway this is pretty funny and sad, cockblocked by grandma falling off the toilet....
wooow_sucks_for_ 0
actually, he never said he helped her and didn't lose his virginity...
beasting 0
this made me laugh so super ******* hard omg XD
terranada 3
if he hadn't helped her this wouldn't be am fml
coffeygirl12 14
haha 262 u look like Justin bieber ...
Kyra15 0
300..dumb!
coffeygirl12 14
hahaa but it's true. soo bye (:
Hankjeter 0
If a comment has positive thumbs, I thumb it up. If it's negative, it goes down.
iBiteRoses 22
me too LOLZ!
ONExLOVE_fml 4
What the hell is the whole point of putting a Z at the end of LOL?
AlWAYSN4EVR 13
I accidentally thumbed this up when I meant to thumb it down ._.
arfarfitar 2
People who act like that haven't lost there v card yet
missijean11 8
To #1 that comment makes you look like a toss and the op even better... Seriously you're an idiot
TheMalygos 21
@1 Im sure waiting and making losing your virginity that special moment when you know you want to stay with this person forever shouldn't be rushed, you should stop trying to be like the idiots of society and be normal for once
TH_Insomniak 15
they could've been from ages 14-16 an are actually responsible enough.
wallythedolly 0
F your grandma's life. Today, I fell off the toilet and got stuck between it and the wall. I'm not making this up. My grandson had to come home from his date with his girlfriend to rescue me. FML.
jaybrown 0
SHUT THE **** UP this is supossed to be a funny FML.
tortise34 4
lol this hilarious compared 2 the original
rockyraccoon28 8
haha. that is awesome. but seriously, poor grandma!
carpediem9_fml 0
260, you're pretty :) until i opened your picture
2kool4skoolyo 0
wow your messed
newmrspattinson 0
dude don't be so mean!
ConnorG 0
says the person without a profile picture
daughterofabitch 4
jackass
thegoods69 0
hahah 261
lickmykiwis 1
wat a bitch
fang9761 0
wtf
frozentreats 0
lol true dat
stupidmonkey80 0
HEY 261 yeah why are you talking you don't even have a picture!
Georgieeporgiee 9
WTF is a bowl? Because I'm guessing you don't mean the type that you eat ice-cream from...
BabyWest 3
wouldn't it be odd if you two were grandma and grandson
MickGold 8
302- 261 don't have a pic cuz they know no one wants to see their face and that's why they have to make other people feel like shit. To take out their insecurities out on others. 260- you are beautiful. **** those assholes who say otherwise(:
ikeydude 0
#231 shut ur ****** mouth asshole
ikeydude 0
you are so true
YOUNGSMUTTY 0
That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.
jacobs_double 0
hence the name smutty...to OP, I hope you swiped your v card
shortandloud 0
That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Poor grandma! If you've been in the relationship for 2 years and have both decided that you're ready, it will happen. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future. It's good that you helped out Grandma when she needed it.
mehungie2 3
Awww that poor grandma :(
PureGold 0
AWW, poor her!! Was she okay? :( And your situations kind of sucked too, but you were being a good grandson lol...you'll have other opportunities to be with your girlfriend. And I totally believe this happened xP. My dad once fainted in the bathroom, and his head went through the glass shower door.
HamsteronA 0
what was he doing that made him faint? was his arm to sore from rubbing?
liuken 3
**** blocked by your granny? Agreed...FYL.
geenna 4
LOL dats right
Seegtease 0
Meh. Annoying, but if you were both ready anyway, you'll have another chance soon enough. At least you didn't ignore your grandma, that'd have been a dick thing to do.
FMY_FYL 0
Well at least you got to see one woman without her pants on.
patheticnoob212 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG ROFL!!!
heeeyashleyy 0
LMFAO! :)
laxplayer4life13 1
good way to look at it