Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
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Top comments
TiffyterroriZe 9
Tiger Woods is the father?
squishy01 0
What an ungrateful bastard.
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Comments (280)
CatchtheTIMO 2
did both of u guys rejoice at the same time? but sucks for u that he picked golf over birth
gazza4321 0
He wasn't the one with the baby
cldean24 4
I wish people would stop posting the same "you should name her birdie!" That is not a cute idea and it was not even decent sarcasm.
whosechairisthat 0
u have great taste in men.
PrincessesCrown 17
My dad was playing in a basket ball game when i was born.
alex6946 10
well congratulations to the both of you.
ally2009 0
THAT PISSES ME OFF THIS IS WERE U TALK ABOUT BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN UR DAY NOT ABOUT STUPID ASS GOLF WHAT DO U WANT ME TO SAY BOOO HOOO UR HUSBAND WASNT THERE HE WAS PROB SLEEPING WITH A HOOKER SO REMEMBOR BAD THINGS
sxcsatan999 2
you are a complete tossed that is something bad that happened in her day and is maybe a shocking realization for her too u stupid git!!!!!!!!
sxcsatan999 2
stupid auto correct tosser
sxcsatan999 2
whoever clicked YDI are just as much a wanker as the father who didn't even want to be there for the birth of his child. I feel awful for u OP but at least be grateful she was a healthy baby
LolMoqz 10
name her birdie(x
alyssa1695 4
what a great husband you have there