Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
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Top comments
TiffyterroriZe 9
Tiger Woods is the father?
squishy01 0
What an ungrateful bastard.
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Comments (280)
Dragons_corner 6
if he is a good person then later on in life he will regret missing it and fell bad about it. My dad did the same with my older sister and he regrets it now.
ackboy24 0
what an ass hole!!
slickrasta 1
Leave your husband.
mante_fml 0
at first I thought. what an asshole and poor you. but then I thought. hey. you married him. should have been no big surprise
smartguy13v 2
everyone, how do you know that he would have been able to go see his new baby born? I could think of hundreds of senarios where it would be appropriate to miss that. For example: what if she went into labor unexpectedly and her husband was on a business trip and he had to go golfing with a client? Be fortunate you have a new born child, and I hope that all ends well.
gemzroxya 0
nice shot OP's husband, gotta be a great day for him having a beautiful baby and a birdie same day :)
mpclaw 3
what brand of balls was he playing?
cmart31 0
wow someone's not a good dad..
DrunkenElmo 1
golf clearly takes priority
samicna 4
what a great way to relieve stress! he has such a good wife!