Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
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Top comments
TiffyterroriZe 9
Tiger Woods is the father?
squishy01 0
What an ungrateful bastard.
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Comments (280)
TigerBloodGirl15 0
He sounds like a keeper :D
Leser98 0
AWESOME
natepy 0
good for him
jaidonsafira 0
So it was a beautiful magical day for the both of you. no complaining. Hahah. :3
MJ_CamaroGirl 1
I think that is horrible... As the saying goes "it takes 2 to tango" Just because men only have to "plant the seed" which only takes what...20 minutes give or take? The woman has to go through 9 months of varying degrees of pain, stress, hormones and having their bodies distorted growing your child, and can no longer do some of the things they may enjoy (first thing that comes to mind just happens to be alcohol though there are other things for those who do not like to drink) which a man does not have to give up anything (except maybe sex which they waive the right to when they get a woman pregnant) Just because you don't have to give birth to the child does not absolve your responsibility to be there mentally and physically for her for those 9 months (of course unless she doesn't want you around, and I am sure she will make very clear she doesn't). The day your child is born should not only be one of the most important days to you, but is usually the worst day in all the 9 months of pregnancy (Since having a child is commonly described as pushing a watermelon out a hole the size of a lemon!) Of course before I even hit send I know that I will hear agreement from most the women, and tons of flack from a lot of men, but this is my opinion, and free speech entitles me to it :P (And before the comments about men at war or some other such situation that makes it impossible for them to be there for the birth, obviously they would have previously talked this out with their partner, and golfing is NOT one of those situations!)
angelgirl765 0
Sooo true
chaoskiwi 0
omg what the heck is wrong with him? why would he miss the birth of his own child!
kthxbai123 1
what are you going to name the precious baby? I think Abigail or Kacie is a beautiful name!
stefman13 1
leave him. if he doesn't even want to be there when his own kid be born then why would he want to help raise him.
frackenfrack 0
and you were so hurt by it you took the time to share it on FML... WTF?
smileywondur10 0
name her birdie :)