Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
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Top comments
TiffyterroriZe 9
Tiger Woods is the father?
squishy01 0
What an ungrateful bastard.
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Comments (280)
quite_bored 9
Good for him!
paramedicgirl87 4
I'm sorry to hear your husband wasn't man enough to be there for the birth of your child, but congratulations.
enonymous 9
What par was it? if it was a par 5 I would say you should have been there with him giving labor in the sand bunker.
iamme216 7
excellent!
yallreadyknow 0
hey at least he wasn't playing ps3. oh wait....
a7x_RoCk3r 12
;(
RockstarRN 10
Your husband sucks!
kinga08 0
That's horrible that he didn't even make an effort to try to be there. I think you should adjust your priorities accordingly when he needs you. Usually I don't recommend such an immature retaliation, but what he did is such bullshit and he's a huge dick. FYL for being married to him, and I would like to hope that you didn't marry him knowing how out of whack his priorities are.
anakaren_831 1
I bet he was thinking about you the whole time:) he was playing for your daughter:D FYL.
golfingfeen12 0
whatta real man
haileemarie7 6
Unfortunately, with the way things are today thats as close to a real man she's gunna get.
mayhem372 8
name it birdie