Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TiffyterroriZe 9
Tiger Woods is the father?
squishy01 0
What an ungrateful bastard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
kayballer 0
that sounds like an episode of reba if I do remember correctly
kss_ga_champ5408 1
anybody can have a baby. birdies are hard to come by.
sweet_candy_ 17
I don't blame him watching a baby come out of there is not a pretty sight.
Iloreanes 0
YDI for not giving birth on the golf course.
sharkwkrox 0
Aw how sad but happy at the same time <33
adeadplayer 0
That's awful. Unless he pays club fees. Then it's a pain in the ass to get a good tee time.
BellStarr90 0
congrats on the baby girl but your husband should have been there that's the most amazing thin you could ever experience and he missed it..no offense but he sounds like a bit of a jerk! hope he is at the house with u and the kid more often!!
MuffyStJacques 0
Having to see a screaming rat coming out of a ****** is not amazing.
victo890 11
well at least you guys got two lucky things
structuredchaoz 4
Time to change your status to single.
structuredchaoz 4
The week wifey was due should certainly be no golf week. Priority fail