Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
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Top comments
MCRaddict15 15
What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.
dude1122332 9
I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..
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Comments (168)
rivaraven 35
I hope yot have some papers for him to sign..?
sweetmama88 6
Mabe it was his new girlfriend , him saying it was a hooker, any way sent him papers and that would be a great surprise .
the_true_batman 10
This really sucks... at least everyone knows why you're leaving him and won't blame you. He can't really deny he was going to cheat (and it's likely that this wasn't the first time). Get checked for STDs, a lawyer, and a better man. I think "birthday prostitute while your wife is out of town" cheating is one of the less bad forms of cheating, but it's still shouldn't be forgiven easily, probably not at all. Stay strong and follow your dreams.
BunBunBabe 8
How is that a less bad form of cheating? A hooker is the dirtiest thing he could have screwed, probably..that is just gross
The_F3rris 11
Well...now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
krewer21 1
Wow, that's rough but you learned a hard sad lesson, and hopefully you will find trust again! You deserve it!
momo1972 3
He wanted to invite one of his friends
reject214 10
Hooker? She's not a hooker, honey. She's actually a mattress expert who was trying out our bed to see if our mattress was firm enough so we don't hurt our backs. Ya gotta believe me. I was doing this for you.
gr3enw1lly17 5
Lol owned
The_F3rris 11
Everybody should get herpagonasyphilaids at least once.
Fmlsea 28
surprise him with a divorce ? you're better off without the douche-bag , i feel sorry for you tho op you were trying to do something nice for him and in the process he has embrassed you & cheated .FYL